I can't start because i don't have any bad jokes cos I'm perfect

Edit: thanks for all your bad jokes but I'm now more unwell than i was yesterday so it didn't work

  • someone [comrade/them, they/them]
    ·
    1 month ago

    A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and asks "Didn't I see you in here with Descartes last weekend?"

    The horse thinks for a moment and says, "I don't think so."

    The horse vanishes.

    You see, the joke is a reference to Descartes' philosophical work, specifically his oft-quoted Latin phrase "Cogito, ergo sum" which has often been overly simplified in western pop culture as "I think, therefore I am". There have been many pop-culture variations on this in varying degrees of seriousness, but more often it's used for comedic effect, such as imagining talking horses vanishing from bars. The actual philosophy is quite nuanced. Descartes even mused on the concept of thought itself, attempting to take nothing for granted.

    I mean, I could have explained the philosophical background to the silly joke at the start. But that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    1 month ago

    My dog doesn't have a nose. How does he smell?

    spoiler

    AWFUL

    This animal joke brought to you by the people that steal bad jokes from reddit gang.

  • Gorb [they/them]
    hexagon
    ·
    1 month ago

    Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.

  • Sulvor [he/him, undecided]M
    ·
    1 month ago

    Why didn’t the lifeguard at the beach save the hippy from drowning?

    Cause he was too far out maaaan

  • Alaskaball [comrade/them]A
    ·
    1 month ago

    A horse walks into the bar.

    The bartender says "what is this, a set up to a joke?"

    The horse goes neigh

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]
    ·
    1 month ago

    Giraffe walks into a bar

    Bartender says, "You want a longneck?"

    Giraffe says, "I have a choice?"

    • PointAndClique [they/them]
      ·
      1 month ago

      Grasshopper hops into a bar

      Bartender says, "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!"

      Grasshopper says, "What, you've got a drink called Steve?"

  • Gorb [they/them]
    hexagon
    ·
    edit-2
    1 month ago

    What did one Marxist-Leninist say to another?

    Beanis cum piss shid fard beanis

  • Crowtee_Robot [he/him]
    ·
    1 month ago

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Because even a chicken knows jaywalking shouldn't be a crime.

  • Gorb [they/them]
    hexagon
    ·
    1 month ago

    What does a marxist and an anarchist have in common?

    They're in the same polycule

  • Gorb [they/them]
    hexagon
    ·
    1 month ago

    What’s the difference between a Marxist-Socialist and a Keynesian economist?

    Several things, including but not limited to the following: The Marxist-Socialist believes that workers should own the means of production, whereas Keynesians support the private ownership over the means of production. Marxist-Socialists believe that centralized government would ultimately wither away after a revolution, whereas Keynesians advocate greater government action to ensure full societal employment. Finally, a Marxist-Socialist would not be invited to a party that a Keynesian was throwing at work because the Keynesian knows that the Marxist-Socialist would throw a stink about the way the cubicles in the Keynesian’s office were arranged.

  • hexthismess [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    1 month ago

    A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The neutron asks how much. The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."