I can't start because i don't have any bad jokes cos I'm perfect

Edit: thanks for all your bad jokes but I'm now more unwell than i was yesterday so it didn't work

  • someone [comrade/them, they/them]
    ·
    20 hours ago

    A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and asks "Didn't I see you in here with Descartes last weekend?"

    The horse thinks for a moment and says, "I don't think so."

    The horse vanishes.

    You see, the joke is a reference to Descartes' philosophical work, specifically his oft-quoted Latin phrase "Cogito, ergo sum" which has often been overly simplified in western pop culture as "I think, therefore I am". There have been many pop-culture variations on this in varying degrees of seriousness, but more often it's used for comedic effect, such as imagining talking horses vanishing from bars. The actual philosophy is quite nuanced. Descartes even mused on the concept of thought itself, attempting to take nothing for granted.

    I mean, I could have explained the philosophical background to the silly joke at the start. But that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

  • Alaskaball [comrade/them]A
    ·
    22 hours ago

    A horse walks into the bar.

    The bartender says "what is this, a set up to a joke?"

    The horse goes neigh

  • Sulvor [he/him, undecided]M
    ·
    22 hours ago

    Why didn’t the lifeguard at the beach save the hippy from drowning?

    Cause he was too far out maaaan

  • Gorb [they/them]
    hexagon
    ·
    23 hours ago

    Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.

  • Crowtee_Robot [he/him]
    ·
    22 hours ago

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Because even a chicken knows jaywalking shouldn't be a crime.

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    23 hours ago

    My dog doesn't have a nose. How does he smell?

    spoiler

    AWFUL

    This animal joke brought to you by the people that steal bad jokes from reddit gang.

  • hexthismess [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    22 hours ago

    A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The neutron asks how much. The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

  • Gorb [they/them]
    hexagon
    ·
    edit-2
    23 hours ago

    What did one Marxist-Leninist say to another?

    Beanis cum piss shid fard beanis

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]
    ·
    23 hours ago

    Giraffe walks into a bar

    Bartender says, "You want a longneck?"

    Giraffe says, "I have a choice?"

    • PointAndClique [they/them]
      ·
      23 hours ago

      Grasshopper hops into a bar

      Bartender says, "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!"

      Grasshopper says, "What, you've got a drink called Steve?"

  • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]
    ·
    20 hours ago

    What's the difference between a Hippo and Zippo?

    spoiler

    Ones big and heavy, and the other is a little lighter

  • Gorb [they/them]
    hexagon
    ·
    22 hours ago

    What does a marxist and an anarchist have in common?

    They're in the same polycule