No fancy OP this time because I am running on E! I'm definitely not a couple of days late! This week's person of interest is you, dear reader. Tell this fat frog lady all about your lovely selves this week. Tell me what makes you laugh and what brings you joy in this hell on earth we call home.


As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:

"Disability" is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.

Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.

  • The_sleepy_woke_dialectic [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 day ago

    Has anyone ever compiled a mostly comprehensive list of activities of daily living? I'm going from unmedicated mental health to medicated. I feel like I'm truly alive and awake for the first time in a decade and building a lot of habits I should have had for a while. A list that includes everything you "should know" from brushing your teeth and up would be genuinely helpful.

    Breakfast, lunch, dinner. Taxes. Think about buying gifts x days before event/holiday. Wash clothes/bedding. I usually remember 98% of it but sometimes I'm just completely blind to something glaringly obvious until it reaches a real crisis point. I think to myself "Am I forgetting anything?" several times a day, and a list would come in handy then.

    • un_mask_me [any]
      ·
      edit-2
      6 hours ago

      You’ve got quite a list already! And some comrades have had some great additions as well. Hopefully someone will find this helpful (and thanks for reading, it’s probably gonna end up in 2 parts and is a bit unorganized).

      My AuDHD (generalized) Daily Routine:

      • Wake up to alarm set an hour and 15min before work (time will change on WFH days)
      • Hydrate
      • Straighten and pull covers over pillow
      • Go to bathroom
      • Brush teeth
      • Wash face
      • Apply deodorant
      • Get dressed
      • Feed animals
      • Caffeine,and/or make/eat breakfast (optional)
      • Check emails, calendar, weather, texts/messages
      • Work (take as many breaks as allowed, drink water every hour, move around when possible)
      • Eat lunch about 3-4 hours after breakfast (optional afternoon snack)
      • Exercise after work (optional)
      • Make/eat dinner
      • Clean up dinner/tidy kitchen, collect and/or do dishes
      • Chill til bed time, or single chore
      • Shower
      • Change into pajamas/sleep clothes
      • Meds
      • Floss/brush teeth
      • Pull fresh clothes for next day out, if applicable
      • Plug in phone
      • Check and set alarms
      • [Attempt to] Sleep
      

      I'm open to questions and suggestions!!

      A Longwinded Breakdown of Daily Life

      My routine changes on weekends, depending on what I have going on, but generally those are my catch-up and lazy days where I sleep a lot and alternate between leisure and chores.

      Hygiene/Health

      • Brush teeth every morning first thing and floss/brush before laying down to sleep
      • shower/bathe/wash once every 48 hours (though I tend to shower every day)
      • clip/trim/file nails once a week
      • shave/trim/hair care happens on days I have have energy, or if there’s a necessity such as meeting someone in person
      • change shirts/undergarments/socks every day
      • Not a Doctor, but it’s typically recommended to get a physical every 6 months where you have blood work done, in addition to having a doctor look you over and address any concerns
      • Regular teeth cleanings are usually also once every 6 months, depending on your level of needed care
      • Take meds when it works best for you or as recommended by your physician, but make sure you’ve either got alarms or reminders to take them, both in calendar and alarm clock form if you need backups

      Food/Energy

      • I don’t eat a lot, but I’ve come to understand my body needs some form of calories at minimum twice a day in order to feel normal; on good days, I eat 3 meals and a small snack
      • In addition to this, water is so-so-so important; I chug a few ounces of water first thing when I wake up, and make sure I’m drinking water regularly throughout the day
      • I have a rotation of 2 week’s worth of recipes/food that I eat on a regular basis, and I always make sure I have options that I can choose from for each meal; I make them ahead of time or portioned for easy eating during the week
      • I go to the grocery store once a week to make sure I have food for at least 5-8 days, and I use grocery lists to make sure I get everything
      • It’s best for me to aim for 6-8 hours of sleep, and also giving myself enough time to actually sleep that amount; for me I need to lay down an hour or two before falling asleep, so my bed time is not the same as fall-asleep-time
      • I’ve also found that I sleep better if I work out, so I try to do 30-45 minutes of some form of exercise 3-4 times a week, and always towards the end of the day (usually right after work and before dinner)

      Cleanliness

      • I spread laundry out across three days each week, and the amount done can vary on activity/season and energy levels
      • I change my bedding once a week, and have 2 sets so that some weeks I can just skip the washing but still put fresh stuff on the bed
      • Towels are done once a week, and I also rotate these (I have 6 main bath towels, three are in rotation at a time)
      • I vacuum every 1-2 weeks, but I really have to have the energy for it
      • I clean the bathroom every 7-10 days, and I’ve found that wearing gloves while doing that and dishes makes it so much more tolerable...I’ll also wear a mask if the smells are getting to me
      • Dishes should at minimum be collected after dinner and all stuff in the kitchen moved to the sink (from all over the house) and then scraped/rinsed of food if leaving on the counter... I don’t always empty the dishwasher right away, but having them ready to go to be actually washed makes it so much easier on me and avoids pests
      • Trash gets taken out when full, make sure bins go out on designated trash pick up days
      • Animal stuff is done one weekday and one weekend day, depending on my energy levels
      • Plants are watered twice a week, when I remember
      • I try to dust, wipe down my desk and chair, tidy my spaces including car, and take home essentials inventory once a month
      • Car stuff is usually once a year or by mileage, so using calendar reminder for that works for me (I’m in the US so once a year I get sent an email and letter reminding me about vehicle registration/inspection and/or license/voter registration stuff)
      • Owning a house will add a lot to weekly/monthly/yearly stuff, but I cannot chime in on that
      • When I feel a certain space in my home is getting out of hand I'll set aside a couple of hours just for organizing/cleaning that area, usually over the weekend

      Responsibilities –

      • Animals/plants/kids obviously will take a lot of priority and planning, but I’ve found that a digital alarm clock that goes off twice a day specifically works as a great Feed-the-Animals reminder (the alarm is incredibly loud and will not stop until the button is pressed, so I never miss their meals and usually start making tea around that time); I don't have kids and can't speak on that
      • Work is also something that needs to be managed, but having a routine during the day while working is beneficial for me, and I utilize a lot of the other things I mentioned already, including keeping a work journal that I spend a couple minutes on at the end of each shift if I’m able, and making sure my work calendar is separate from my personal calendar
      • Speaking on alarms and timers, I highly recommend utilizing a timer of some sort, whether it’s on your phone or its own device; I mostly use 45 minute timers when working to make sure I get up and stretch/bathroom/hydrate/check in with myself throughout the day
      • Calendars are a wonderful thing, and should be looked at/edited once a week depending on how much you have going on; I use frequent email reminders for my calendar to give me a backup, and if there’s a service I use where reminders are available I have a specific email for that
      • Finances for me need to be kept up with with on a bi-weekly and monthly basis, so this looks like checking on accounts, paying bills, scheduling payments, checking on recurring renewals/what’s expiring (licenses/insurance), moving money around, planning for large expenses that may be quarterly or yearly, and if needed filing taxes and required paperwork.
    • un_mask_me [any]
      ·
      1 day ago

      I can attempt to put one together tomorrow, and maybe others can chime in once we get the list started. I have taken a lot of mental load off of myself by having sets of instructions for things, even as simple as doing laundry, but I've never really written them down in one place, so it's a good opportunity to do that. If you haven't heard from me for a bit I probably ran out of spoons, but I do want to try! Glad you've been on the mend, and thank you for the idea

      Show

      • The_sleepy_woke_dialectic [he/him]
        ·
        edit-2
        23 hours ago

        Its like all the people who need such a tool aren't really in a position to make it, and all those who don't need it can't understand why it would be necessary, or what it should include. Some catch 22 amiright?

        Absolute needs:

        • Food
        • Fluids/water
        • Sleep
        • Medications
        • Temperature
        • Rest/Recalibrate (Do I need to remove myself from this situation momentarily?)
        • How do I feel?
        • Am I thinking clearly?
        • Check if injured or sick

        Should do daily:

        • Brush teeth 2 or 3 times
        • Bathe/wash
        • Eat 3 meals
        • Drink 2 liters of fluids
        • Take medications
        • Feed/Water pets
        • Wash, Dry, Fold laundry
        • Vacuum/tidy at least one room
        • Take the trash out (Is it trash day tomorrow? Is the dumpster out?)
        • Wash dishes, put away
        • Wipe counters
        • Water plants
        • Check mailbox/emails
        • Shave?

        Prepare for tomorrow:

        • Wash/pick out clothes for next day; Top, Bottom, Underwear, Socks, Shoes, Hat, etc
        • Gather other things needed for day; Car keys, Wallet, Cash, etc
        • Pack lunch if necessary
        • Arrange transportation, check gas/charge, tire pressure
        • Set up coffee maker
        • Check weather forecast
        • Check calendar
        • Check in with others about/confirm plans
        • Set alarm
        • Get to bed in time for 9 hours sleep if possible, screens off 1 hour before bedtime
        • Have meds and water ready by bed for morning
        • Plug in phone before bed

        Weekly:

        • Change bedding
        • Schedule appointments
        • Exercise, 2-3 times if possible
        • Make todo list
        • Sticky notes for things you might forget to do, in a place you can't miss
        • Meal planning
        • Grocery shopping
        • Check in with friends/family
        • Weekly medication?
        • Trim finger/toenails
        • Pay bills
        • Charge phone minutes

        Just a few off the top of my head. Thanks for the support meow-hug

          • The_sleepy_woke_dialectic [he/him]
            ·
            12 hours ago

            I usually miss a few. I used to miss a lot more. Try to do one extra today for the you that wakes up tomorrow or next week <3

            Easier said than done, I know.

        • dustbunnies [she/her, comrade/them]
          ·
          19 hours ago

          meow-hug I think your list looks good! it's very thorough already, I can tell you have put a lot of thought into this.

          some ideas for edits & additions:

          Laundry
          if you can afford it & can store them, it can be helpful to have enough changes of clothing to only have to do laundry weekly instead of daily.
          you could do a Home Day once a week, where you do meal prep and other cleaning in between loads of laundry and get your bedding, towels, and clothes all done in the same day, but I find it's less overwhelming for me to have a Clothes Day and a Towels Day and a Bedding Day.

          Exercise
          trying to make this a daily habit helped me get better at actually doing it 2-3 times a week 🤦🤷 maybe you're more disciplined than I am 🙃 but if you find this hard to do as a 2-3x/wk, maybe try breaking it into daily 15 minute sessions and see how that goes.

          To-Do List
          this is another thing I had to move to daily for similar reasons

          Sticky Notes
          no suggestions on the placement of this, just have to know: do these work for you?!?!? genuinely envious 😅 for me, they quickly just become bright, beautiful visual clutter that gets filtered out once I get busy or overwhelmed. I have to put things on my phone calendar and set up several reminder notifications in advance 😐

          Taxes
          Weekly: enter & categorize receipts in spreadsheet, put other records to appropriate files/piles.
          Monthly: sort & total income & expenditures.
          Annual: check everything, file taxes.

          Gifts
          put their dates on your calendar. (Google calendar automatically adds birthdays etc from your contacts, others probably do the same.)
          have an easy-to-access note/list on your phone (or something else that is with you whether you're at home or out & about); add to it whenever your loved ones mention their interests or needs or when you see something you think they might like or find useful.
          Weekly: check for important dates 2-3 weeks out; make or shop for card & gift.
          Monthly: is it November or December yet? if yes: Stress About Holidays. if no: try to forget the winter holiday season exists. ❄️🙃❄️


          spirit-bomb you got this ❤️

          • The_sleepy_woke_dialectic [he/him]
            ·
            edit-2
            12 hours ago

            The sticky notes do work for me when I'm very overwhelmed, in fact I just use some of those little tiny ones you use to highlight sections in a book and don't even write anything on it. I often put one on the door knob while thinking "remember to grab the X you need today" and I'm not allowed to remove it until I physically have it in my hand. I also try to dedicate a specific place for all the things I need and collect them, or a "token" for them, in that place. Like if I need to remember to bring something like pasta salad with me which has to stay in the fridge, I'll put the serving spoon on the table instead.

            All this stuff sounds like the kind of advice people give you, and you think "if only it was that easy" it isn't so easy but it's all you can do you know?

            I don't tend to "forget" exercise when I'm on top of it. I start feeling really antsy when it's my "day" but if I can't exercise that day for whatever reason that's inevitably when I fall off. The 2 feet of snow certainly isn't helping right now.

            These are great additions dustbunnies thank you <3 You got this too!

    • hexbee [she/her]
      ·
      1 day ago

      I've thought about making such a list for a long time, but I don't think I'm in a "alive and awake" enough state to actually acomplish that ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠˘⁠_⁠˘⁠)⁠┌

      • The_sleepy_woke_dialectic [he/him]
        ·
        1 day ago
        CW: ableist self talk and suicidal ideation

        Sorry if that sounded ableist. I don't know any other way to describe it. Just trying to deal with the guilt and pick up the pieces as best I can after being incredibly depressed for a decade. It feels overwhelming sometimes. I look back and think "What a useless piece of shit you are. Look at all the time and resources you've wasted" and then remind myself that considering the best means of killing yourself every day and literally feeling like your body is made of hundreds of pounds of sand isn't a normal mental state and perhaps I should forgive myself somewhat. I would never feel that way about anyone else in my situation.

        If I can stick to a list I can power through a little easier without being uselessly self critical.

        • hexbee [she/her]
          ·
          1 day ago

          Oh no, I was being genuine - I'm very sleepy and tired like 95% of the time. And I'm glad you're feeling better, it sounds wonderful! I honestly didn't know that could even happen, so your story inspired me too. I will give making that list a go.

          I think my main challenge is to conceptualise what kind of things are too small to include in the list, because I don't want to end up spending half the day writing about the things I'm doing in the other half of it... I already struggle with keeping up with basic admin and now I've got admin for, like, everything? But I won't figure it out until I give it a proper try I think.

          • The_sleepy_woke_dialectic [he/him]
            ·
            edit-2
            24 hours ago

            Mine is the age-old "Tried every antidepressant around but really needed a stimulant" story. Depression generally tends to get easier to manage as you get older and your hormones straighten out, so you can look forward to that.

            It's hard to know where that cutoff is and it'll be a little different for everyone shrug-outta-hecks
            I hope you find something that works too.