or would you rather put this plate into a blender and hope you can inhale a full english smoothie?
That explains the camera settings, angle, plate positioning, and wrinkled table cloth.
The photographer is trying to convey being slumped over the table, head in hand, covering one eye, other eye unable to focus as you try to put yourself together. On your right leg is a large empty bowl.
I've been up since 4:30am. I would murder a thousand landlords for a proper fry up.
i would murder a thousand landlords in minecraft for fun wdym
wigan kebab… now that’s whot you caull a butty. i been ‘earin about the wigan kebab for years, an now am finally ‘ere in wigan, at the trawlerman, one of the best chippies. am goonna go an try one. let’s go
roight mate, a been told to come in ‘ere an order a wigan kebab, boot, a don actually know whot et is
yeh don know whatta wigan kebab is?
heh, no
buttered barm, meat and potaeto pie. you’re in ‘eaven
carbs on carbs on carbs
absolutely
‘ats whot i loike to see
d’you wont one?
yeah, go on mate. es et eh popular dish?
fourty pehcent of the people oo com in owdeh et, ets quick an good. quick an readay.
an do ‘ey caull et a wigan kebab or a pie barm? wot do they ask for?
wigan kebab.
wigan kebab?
wigan kebab.
class. g’wed lad.
‘ere you are. enjoy lad
wigan kebab… that actually looks class. mate. that is sensational. that is spot on mate
so am jus looking at the menu ‘ere mate i can get a smack foh fohty pay?
yea
so wot is smack?
et’s well known in wigan smack barm pey wet
smack barm pey wet?
yep. et’s a- et’s a cheap treat foh a kid. som grownups gettem. but you’re lookin at eighty pay, you’ve got somethin ‘ot. potaetoh, batter on, sault an vinegar
wots pey wet mate?
wots pey wet?! in wigan, et’s as good as gravay. et’s the waterr off the peas, you get a few peas in as well, y’know, y’know. et’s free, jus moists ya chips up. or ya smack.
i thin oive got room for a little bit more, mate. can i get a uh- smack barm pey wet?
no problem atool! get ya pey wet. there ya go young man, enjoy
cheers mate. smack barm pey wet. oive gotta be honest… the looka this pey wet is knockin may a bit sick et looks fookin minging. let’s see wot ets chattin… gotta hefty dollop of pey wet there. it’s quite nice. there’s no pey, ets jus wet. but you can taeste the pey. a wigan akimbo wit the smack barm pey wet, an the wigan kebab, an i dunno which one i prefer, if oim honest. so ‘ats the wigan kebab. obviously a lot more meaty. an no peas. see, the smack barm pey wet… ets got more of a crunch. am onna have to go wit the smack barm pey wet. am sorry to all of the wigan kebab lovers, but… et’s gotta be the smack barm pey wet.
think oive got room for a little bit more mate.
babbys yed? oh aye?
wots a babbys yed?
steak puddin.
steak puddin?
steak puddin. well-renowned aroun ‘ere. our puddins are the best
an why es et called a babbys yed?
they favour em. they’re very similah to look at
so wen you crack opan a baby’s ‘ead ‘ats wot it looks like inside?
yeah. but don- don do it.
still got this babbys yed to go…
yeah, i goota tell ya somethin about that… the babbys yed actually coms wit chips an gravey an stuff as well
are ya messin lad? oh fohk. a three course wigan meal… oooaaahhhh…
‘ere you are!
cheers, fella. babbys yed. cause et looks like a baby’s ‘ead. and if ya crack et opan… now we’re taulkin. that’s a serious pie that. that es a serious puddin. so ive ad a wigan kebab, a smack barm, an a babbys yed. am a proper wiganer now. ye want pey wet wit ‘at mate?
I was halfway through this when it turned into a Sleaford Mods song in my head.
English cuisine and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race
Everyone circlejerking in here about how gross this is but genuinely baked beans work super well with everything on that plate.
Full English Breakfast is a top tier breakfast and you're all too scared to try it
It looks good af, the only problem with this pic is the pool of liquid around the beans which kind of makes the whole plate look gross
More distance between the egg and the beans. I may want to mix them but I want that to be my decision. Use the sausage as a breakwater.
Looks good mate. I'd have less beans, more shrooms and a fried slice myself but that's the beauty of it really, very versitile.
I never had an English breakfast until I went to Thailand and the hotel I stayed at catered to Brits, so this was the only option in the morning.
Anyhow, 3 bites in I remember thinking to myself, "what in the everliving fuck is wrong with you people to think this is good?"
