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Smashing your pipe for us might be more counterproductive than you expect. In my experience, the act of professing/proving something to a bunch of people gives my brain the same sensation as if I had already accomplished the whole thing, which saps my motivation to actually do the thing. IE I would snap my last cigarette to my friends like I was quitting that day... and then my brain was like, "you can keep smoking you just gotta be sneaky!" I call it a false victory dance and it never helped me quit smoking. What did, was my brother deciding to quit one day and I decided to join him so we could do it together.
These pandemic days are probably the hardest time for anyone to quit hard drugs. It's not going to be that easy to find a new hobby or person or place to occupy the time and make some new dopamine sources. I was with my BFF during his heroin stint (even pricked him for a while until he learned to do it himself) and withdrawal really sucks. Friends make it easier, but those friends have to be on your side about quitting and they have to make the effort to come up with other things to do instead of use. Your brain is moldable until literally your 80's though so don't worry, the receptors will rebuild and life will have something to offer on the other side. Wish I was nearby to be one of those friends. I'm rooting for you babe.
List of stuff some acquaintances found useful:
- Dump everything you have, right now, while you’re in the moment, don’t think, just do it (unless you’ve gotten to the point of alcohol withdrawal)
- Go back through your bank statements/whatever and calculate how much money alcohol has cost you over the past month/half year/year
- Journal that shit, whenever you have a hard craving note the day/time/WHAT SPECIFICALLY caused that craving
- Write down in that same journal the adverse affects that drinking has on you, your friends, your family, etc. as they come to you
- Frame it as a personal challenge against yourself, and you’re toughening your psyche
- If you relapse, write down when, where, how, and HOW MUCH it cost you
- You get the urge, immediately start filling your stomach with water--enough to get the sense "no more room in there"
- Stay away from bars, don't go to parties, make a CONCERTED EFFORT to turn down offers of alcohol
Good luck.
because the people I buy from/have run for me are friends I’ve made on the streets around my work, who also do drugs, puts me in social settings where peer pressure will get me fucked up
Then don't be in those social settings
Just have a backlog of excuses like "yeah my roommate and I are doing a thing" and go
It never feels like you're falling back into the hole when it's with your buds
Why don't you post these cool gendered insult laden sob stories about being a stemlord on your main? You're the one who deserves a ban and you know it.