This truck from Lawn & Order lawn care is parked across the street from my house. This world is beyond parody.
There'll be an ICE-themed exterminator service next: "Get Rid of Unwelcome Guests - Let Us Gas Those Pesky Pests!"
"fter 25 years as a state trooper, our owner is prepared to tackle even the toughest landscaping challenge."
jesus fucking christ https://lawnandordernw.com/
In the criminal justice system, Gardening based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Gardening Unit. These are their stories.
two lawn care workers are taking a bag of clippings to the dumpster
Guy 1: “Yeah, well she just turned 14 ya know? So she thinks...”
Guy 2: “.....that she knows everything? Yeah my son Chaz was like that his sophomore year. The thing is, as a parent, you have to see it from their level in order to contend with it”
Guy 1: the only thing I’m about to contend with is an ice cold Molson after.....hey Jim what are you looking at?
Jim stares with a horrified expression into the dumpster he just dumped clippings into
Jim: “Call 911 right now...RIGHT NOW!”