gender is socially constructed. saying that you prefer "natural born women" is exactly like saying you prefer people who weren't "born a criminal"

  • the_river_cass [she/her]
    2·
    4 years ago

    what you're describing is called cisnormativity - the presumption that cis people, cis bodies, are normal and that trans people are transgressing and abnormal. the point of this thread is to challenge that notion. cisnormativity is transphobia and it hurts trans people. imagine what it feels like to walk into a thread where everyone is talking about how they don't find you attractive without ever having laid eyes on you because of an abstract quality and factor of your birth.

    think about this like race: everyone is transphobic (including trans people) until they've done a lot of work to recognize those tendencies within themselves and root them out. this is necessarily so because we live in a deeply transphobic society and most of the things we're taught about trans people reinforce that societal transphobia. the same way we'd never make excuses for casual racism, we shouldn't make excuses for casual transphobia.

    • BOK6669 [none/use name]
      2·
      4 years ago

      I didn't say that trans people are transgressive or abnormal though. I did say that cis people are the overwhelming majority for better or worse. That's just a fact, I think there are a lot of repressed people out there as well. So I don't like it but it is what it is.

      Please stop fixing these values that are not representative of me.

      • gay [any]
        2·
        4 years ago

        Please stop fixing these values that are not representative of me.

        Everybody is transphobic and everybody believes in these "values", even trans people. You have to actively fight against that in order to get rid of that.

        Internalized transphobia is the reason you made the first (transphobic) comment. Same goes to homophobia.

      • the_river_cass [she/her]
        2·
        4 years ago

        I'm not saying you literally said that, I'm talking about a whole family of ideas that stems from that belief.

        cis and trans are made up categories that only exist because of the violence done to trans people. saying most people are cis us like saying most Americans are white - well, yeah, but the point is how that happened.

        again: would you react to someone pointing out racism in your comments the same way? this site's fragility is something else.

          • the_river_cass [she/her]
            2·
            4 years ago

            that's fine but to @gay's point, I'm addressing your internalized transphobia and asking you to work on it.

              • the_river_cass [she/her]
                2·
                4 years ago
                1. asking trans people to mind cis feelings in calling out their bullshit (I'm especially annoyed at the suggestion that basic empathy is too much to ask for because cis people don't share our experiences). this is cisnormative.
                2. the belief at the root of your original post saying that not being attracted to trans people is natural. this is also cisnormative.
                • BOK6669 [none/use name]
                  3·
                  4 years ago

                  Well, I'm kind of seeing you two bully this entire thread, even other trans people. There's a lot "if x then y" accusations you're making which is unfair. As you read the thread, clearly "y" is not what the person often if ever meant. It gives no faith to the person you're talking to, which in turn makes them obviously defensive. Which you pre-emptively attack them for.

                  When you talk to any human being, it's not acceptable to do these kinds of things. This isn't just a cis-fragility thing, this one is on you too.

                  1. I didn't say that. You filled in the blanks with the worst possible version that you're currently were already upset about, in a very vague statement which I have since clarified.