It sound to me you’re just anxious about sex and sexuality. Which is fine, sex is weird and scary, if anything being a little anxious over it is a healthy thing.

But I would suggest you talk to someone about this. If you decide you want to be celibate that’s fine, but if doing so is this much of a struggle for you I don’t think it’ll make you happy. You probably need to talk to someone and figure out why you feel so anxious about it.

I was talking about me, I'm not saying you have the same thing going on. tell your parents you have depression and want to see a therapist for it. it's a good catch all, will almost certainly be true in any case, and is sufficiently common that they won't suspect anything.

but you really should talk to someone. I promise, you don't want the consequences of this kind of repression weighing on you decades later. I can explain what that's like if you want but otherwise I'll spare you the gorey details.