it's super fun to try and follow a recipe on your phone when it's 10 paragraphs of their life story with autoloading ads that make the page jump around at random, even when your adblock stops them loading 👍
Sometimes I find a recipe that I think I'll really enjoy but then I'll be too put off by these suburban moms who think that having children and being a military spouse are personality traits. 🤬🤬
pretty sure people do this because they read reviews that are like
"great recipe, very fluff and moist. suggest substituting in two cups coffee instead of water to enhance the chocolate flavour"
and decide that if someone can deviate from the recipe in a good way but call the recipe good, clearly that means their own deviation that went awful wasnt actually their fault but was really all because the recipe is terrible.
"substituted coffee for the water like the other review said, but the coffee grounds have an awful gritty texture! recipe is terrible, not moist at all! one star!"
some of the best/worst experiences with cooking I've had have started by finding an interesting new recipe skimming through the ingredients, then realising that I don't have one of the main ingredients but I've already wedded myself to the idea of making it so I just try and substitute other things in and carry on. Using this method cooking becomes an emotional roller coaster and I usually end up sitting on the kitchen floor wandering why I made all the dumb choices I did while I wait for whatever monstrosity I've made to be finished in the oven / microwave. My greatest creations to date have been the 'Explosive Mug Muffin Fudge'[1] (I accidentally put icing sugar in instead of self-raising flour because I wasn't focusing, which caused the mug muffin to rapidly bubble up and then start popping within the microwave, and basically forming fudge due to the absurdly high sugar levels) and the Zombie Brain Muffins'[2] (me and a friend were going to make some muffins but due to poor coordination we ended up without most of the ingredients so we just cobbled together whatever we could, leading to us making marshmallow and macha muffins which made a mixture that looked like zombie brains), all of the other improvised recipes were awful so I never gave them a name I just try to pretend to myself that they never happened.
Same but sometimes I'm unfortunate enough to catch a glance of what the autobiographical section says on my way down and it's literally always the most vapid bullshit.
but then you end up scrolling into the comments where people who don't know how to cook deviate from the instructions and claim the recipe is bad or endless scrolling ads about celebrity stuff.
it’s super fun to try and follow a recipe on your phone when it’s 10 paragraphs of their life story with autoloading ads that make the page jump around at random, even when your adblock stops them loading 👍
Unironically this is a thing I'm trying to stop saying because of ableism. Shouldn't shit on blind people when what I want to say it "you're not listing to me"
it's super fun to try and follow a recipe on your phone when it's 10 paragraphs of their life story with autoloading ads that make the page jump around at random, even when your adblock stops them loading 👍
To be fair the page jumping around at random just makes me feel like I'm at home on chapo chat
Ah, live updates eating the recipe I'm writing.
Sometimes I find a recipe that I think I'll really enjoy but then I'll be too put off by these suburban moms who think that having children and being a military spouse are personality traits. 🤬🤬
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"Substituted the chicken for oysters and almost died of anaphylaxis, one star because author tried to kill me"
pretty sure people do this because they read reviews that are like
"great recipe, very fluff and moist. suggest substituting in two cups coffee instead of water to enhance the chocolate flavour"
and decide that if someone can deviate from the recipe in a good way but call the recipe good, clearly that means their own deviation that went awful wasnt actually their fault but was really all because the recipe is terrible.
"substituted coffee for the water like the other review said, but the coffee grounds have an awful gritty texture! recipe is terrible, not moist at all! one star!"
:picard:
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you dont just add coffee to things. its a substitution for water thats already in a recipe, because coffee is literally just flavoured water.
you could also steep it in milk or cream, but thats a different conversation
edit: people absolutely do make bad suggestions tho. "this recipe needs three tablespoons of salt, not one half teaspoon!" :virgil-sad:
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yeah but thats boring.
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some of the best/worst experiences with cooking I've had have started by finding an interesting new recipe skimming through the ingredients, then realising that I don't have one of the main ingredients but I've already wedded myself to the idea of making it so I just try and substitute other things in and carry on. Using this method cooking becomes an emotional roller coaster and I usually end up sitting on the kitchen floor wandering why I made all the dumb choices I did while I wait for whatever monstrosity I've made to be finished in the oven / microwave. My greatest creations to date have been the 'Explosive Mug Muffin Fudge'[1] (I accidentally put icing sugar in instead of self-raising flour because I wasn't focusing, which caused the mug muffin to rapidly bubble up and then start popping within the microwave, and basically forming fudge due to the absurdly high sugar levels) and the Zombie Brain Muffins'[2] (me and a friend were going to make some muffins but due to poor coordination we ended up without most of the ingredients so we just cobbled together whatever we could, leading to us making marshmallow and macha muffins which made a mixture that looked like zombie brains), all of the other improvised recipes were awful so I never gave them a name I just try to pretend to myself that they never happened.
TM ↩︎
TM ↩︎
Yeah I make a point not to read it and scroll to the bottom before it even loads fully
Same but sometimes I'm unfortunate enough to catch a glance of what the autobiographical section says on my way down and it's literally always the most vapid bullshit.
but then you end up scrolling into the comments where people who don't know how to cook deviate from the instructions and claim the recipe is bad or endless scrolling ads about celebrity stuff.
but their recipes suuuuck
I tried following one for chicken tikka masala.
So bad. So so so so bad. bland flavorless chicken that had just pointless heat that added nothing.
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Cool story. Show me your penis, you piece of shit.
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Post hog
the fuck is wrong with you?
I'm sure this is a new bit, they've been q toxic dick for two days now
if by bit you mean they wandered in from the_donald.lose yes
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go outside, please
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you literally aren't worth the time it would take me to mock your psychosis
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I'm not trans btw
But stick a gun in your mouth you worthless subhuman piece of shit
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TIL, Mysogyny is when you don't like ads on your food blogs
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Did you ever learn to read?
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Idpol be like
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Screaming "MYSOGINY" at a wall for no reason is like the purest form of idpol
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Oh wow, the ableism
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I'm not the ableist here
get out of here with your ableist bullshit
seriously
Unironically this is a thing I'm trying to stop saying because of ableism. Shouldn't shit on blind people when what I want to say it "you're not listing to me"
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I'm not anti-idpol, I think lib idpol is dumb because it leads to arguments like yours
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Lenin is peepee poopoo, when will you post hog? Or does your crusade stop when it becomes politically inconvenient?
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Ok, Coptalin
I'm begging you to post hog.
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damn, they told me the implant wouldn't be noticeable :/
*Notices bulging implant* OwO was dis
resistance is futile UwU
:3c
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joke?
We're russian bots
"“why won’t this page just have the recipe, regardless of the authors gender”
All food writers are women now?
Your misogyny is showing
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looks like you can’t refute shit
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When will you stop being a seething misogynist?
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hog out or log out.
i dont make the rules
He just wanna see peepee, dont discriminate
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Dudebros like seeing cock now? Wtf based
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I can't believe you got a full night's rest only to get up and immediately get back to being an ass online lmao. Kind of impressive, ngl. Sad though
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still waiting on that hog, sweetie
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What?
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You rn
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it's the funniest shit you've ever seen
"NEXT"
Thought I'd end up with Sean but he wasn't a match~
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Stop being a mysoginist.
Me when I read a woman's food blog and she won't shut up about her childhood
I never was one
Also you aren't very good at this are you?
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Nah, you just have your own personal delusion all to yourself
K, I hate women
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My true face true face true face
Ironic.
lick my nuts