I graduated from uni this summer and combo'd that up with a move to an area that doesn't demand your whole livelihood in rent/mortgage. Lack of contacts, a slow job-search, and some persistent depression has me spending most of the hours of my day doing the same.
On the one hand, I feel like there is something worth appreciating about attempting to overcome the whole 'productivity conditioning' that is normalized in us throughout our lives; on the other, its effects are deeply entrenched and it's hard to shake the sense that my self-worth is intimately tied to my activity/production. Creative expression, when slivers of inspiration cut through that fog of depression, makes for a middle way where I'm able to be productive but towards something intrinsically valuable.
Seeing just how many hours/days you can piss away being unmotivated or high is so fucking disheartening...
I graduated from uni this summer and combo'd that up with a move to an area that doesn't demand your whole livelihood in rent/mortgage. Lack of contacts, a slow job-search, and some persistent depression has me spending most of the hours of my day doing the same.
On the one hand, I feel like there is something worth appreciating about attempting to overcome the whole 'productivity conditioning' that is normalized in us throughout our lives; on the other, its effects are deeply entrenched and it's hard to shake the sense that my self-worth is intimately tied to my activity/production. Creative expression, when slivers of inspiration cut through that fog of depression, makes for a middle way where I'm able to be productive but towards something intrinsically valuable.
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I feel attacked