I hate living in a world of symbols
Like having to be constantly aware of when sign represents some seemingly unrelated essence, whether the user intends it or not.
See someone with a fedora and neck beard and it's supposed to mean they're misogynist.
My choice of masc or femme clothing sends a signal of my identity whether I want it to or not, and there's no such thing as a neutral base that sends no signal, like if I put no effort into it I still send a signal, I'm just unaware of what that signal is. Everything is this-coded or that-coded and to try to be not-coded is a statement rather than a lack of one. There's no such thing as a non-statement.
I just want to float through existence as a pure essence, interacting with other pure essences.
I just want to float through existence as a pure essence
This is the biggest mood ever.
Feel this super hard
Body image issues always led me to conceptualize myself as an entity inhabiting a body, the body being incidental. And yes, I know my mind is an emanation of my body, but it's still primarily a vehicle for my soul. I want to meet other souls.
Body image issues always led me to conceptualize myself as an entity inhabiting a body, the body being incidental.
I also felt this way until I started getting myself involved with physical exercise, and now I kinda feel more grounded in myself.
That might help you.
Oh I feel very much in touch with my body now, chronic pain forced me to do that against my will. I do exercise, though not enough. Honestly a thing that helped a lot more is being okay enough with myself to get out there and attempt dating again, and starting to notice trends among the compliments I get. Taking better care of myself now.
Still wish I could escape this body though, and get one that doesn't hurt all the time and still has hair. Or to go full AdMech. To embrace the strength and certainty of steel, and aspire to the purity of the blessed machine.
I just want to float through existence as a pure essence, interacting with other pure essences.
Big mood. You're extremely real for this one
All about the cultural signifiers, comrade. People want to be part of a tribe but that makes them all so bland. Just a conveyor belt of general purpose assembly line humanity specced to fit into a wide variety of utilities. Pure essences are too nebulous to fit. We just have to drift together on the perimeter
I just want to float through existence as a pure essence, interacting with other pure essences.
That's basically what Human Instrumentality was, and the point about why that was bad was that you may not actually like who you "really are", or who other people are, and they still may not actually like you.
The real takeaway is that men have worse politics than women (of people surveyed).
Lmao I'm having to literally write every plan down with dates and times. Not used to keeping a schedule like this.
I get it. I'm definitely hot, but I'm also not very photogenic. Most people won't understand our struggle.
The survey results, which have been shared with Teen Vogue, include responses from 1,033 registered voters between the ages of 18-34. It was conducted between August 25 and September 1: 43% of respondents identify as male; 45% identify as female; 5% identify as trans; 6% identify as nonbinary or gender nonconforming, and 1% identify as other. (source)
Trans people disproportionately identified as "progressive", the most left wing option there was in the survey:
Show
responses from 1,033 registered voters
ah, so anybody who’s based enough to realize that voting is nothing but a waste of time wasn’t included. i feel like that’s an important caveat for interpreting this data
Death to America
love to see my 90% socialist number confirmed by a skewed survey. also it was voters from aug 25-sept 1st, have no clue how they got in contact, i dont think any elections were happening during that time. and i bet that 7% was indignant that there wasnt a more hard left option. the question itself is also leading, you could answer your family as being liberal even if you dont believe thathave no clue how they got in contact, i dont think any elections were happening during that time.
They're registered voters, not people they questioned at the polls
Also assuming trans people were .7% of respondents means they're extrapolating from like 10 people lol. Really curious how they got those numbers
It's in my comment
5% identify as trans; 6% identify as nonbinary or gender nonconforming, and 1% identify as other
thats interesting. im extremely curious what method they used to pick these people up for the poll
LMAO they texted people from facebook. thats funny as fuck. i know a lot of trans people arent on facebook at all cause they did a lot of fucked up transphobic shit so its hardly representative, but does show the slant.
Funniest question:
Which words would you use to describe Taylor Swift? Select all that apply.
● Smart business woman
● Talented artist
● Overrated
● One of the best American songwriters ever
● Cultish
● Cringe
● Overly-emotional
● Girl Boss
● Problematic
● None of the above
I hate how every dating app profile is all about how they enjoy skydiving, 4x4ing, kayaking and all kinds of crazy shit that is way too exciting for me, and probably would cost several months of my disposable income
I think it's lifestyle airbrushing, like what basic people do on Facebook. I highly doubt most of them actually have the time or even the inclination to do that stuff regularly, but if they did it once or have the equipment, they can add it to the Very Important And Dynamic People bingo card.
I couldn't be in an involved relationship with anyone that has absolutely zero hobbies.
With all the work trans people seem to put in, it seems more like a job then a hobby.
because people that don’t have hobbies 1) are usually not happy and 2) will not be interesting to talk to. hobbies are important
Death to America
I don't think this is necessarily true
I know tons of people that are happy and interesting to talk to who don't have hobbies or interests but they just do random stuff all the time
Stuff like clubbing, going to art/cultural/music events, consuming random media, travelling, hanging out in parks/around the city, etc.
In my books that counts. It's cool when people have long-term interests but if you do stuff all the time that also makes you an interesting person. I would struggle to have a meaningful relationship with someone who doesn't do anything like you listed.
well I am too fucking poor for "hobbies". why am I condemned to being undateable and unfuckable until I move up a tax bracket or two?
You’re not too poor for hobbies, you’re too poor to go skydiving and shit. There’s plenty of hobbies that don’t require expensive gear. No one wants to date a person who never does anything. Whatever you do is your hobby.
I was seeing a woman recently who was in debt and worked 2 full time jobs and 1 part time job and spent all her free time going on dates with me or clubbing with her friends
You can 100% be too poor to have hobbies
Clubbing is a hobby. You got special equipment, skills, a complex jargon and culture.
What do you think a hobby is?
There’s plenty of hobbies that don’t require expensive gear.
and if you're always in survival mode you won't have time for any of that crap
Whatever you do is your hobby.
ok my hobbies are video games and going to the gym. do I pass the dating site tests yet?
No one wants to date a person who never does anything.
why? why would an adult give a fuck how much time I spend "going out" if there is chemistry or whatever?
If you’re always in survival mode then you don’t have time for dating either. It sucks but almost everyone in the history of humanity didn’t get to pick their partner and it doesn’t make you a bad person to not be able to either.
People care what you do with your free time because chemistry will only take up some of it. Part of using a dating app is imagining yourself with the person and forming an opinion. Can I see myself with a skydiver? What about a gamer? What about a woodworker (jk, the mustache would tickle too much)?
What do you think qualifies as a hobby?
didn’t get to pick their partner and it doesn’t make you a bad person to not be able to either.
I don't even care if don't "get to pick" -- I'm just tired of being completely passed on by the entire human race for anything from a real relationship to a fling or FWB or whatever, because of stupid bullshit like not having an interesting dating profile because no life.
What do you think qualifies as a hobby?
I don't know, it's shit that will impress or intrigue somebody apparently.
Hobbies are things that intrigue and impress people and the more you intrigue and impress people the more of a hobbyist you are.
Hobbies are what you do in your free time and people want to know what you do in your free time because they might not want to be stuck playing pickleball or going line dancing with you.
I’m sorry you feel like your hobbies are inferior. They’re not and they might not be what you want to do but just what you can do.
What would you do in your free time if you could?
I understand how you feel, really. Dating apps are horrible and the commodification of romance is hurting everyone.
Hobbies are what you do in your free time and people want to know what you do in your free time because they might not want to be stuck playing pickleball or going line dancing with you.
Yeah, fair enough. I just don't have the money or the ability to get around (a car) to really do much of anything, no friends or even family members to do anything with, etc. So I (1) go to the gym (like 3 times a week since February), (2) go for random walks around my boring suburb-like neighborhood or to the grocery store, and (3) spend a hell of a lot of time on the computer, mostly chatting on discord, on websites like hexbear, or playing video games.
I also engage in computer programming as a hobby. Unfortunately (a) I don't really have any real projects to show off, and (b) it is extremely unlikely that I will be found more desirable on a dating site for talking about computer programming or listing it as a hobby. Might even work against me.
Other than that, I can't really think of a consistent "hobby" that I have. So I wouldn't be dragging anyone to do things since I can't drive anyways.
I’m sorry you feel like your hobbies are inferior. They’re not
Thank you. But it's already been made clear to me that the way I spend my time is inferior and too boring for dating apps. lol
What would you do in your free time if you could?
You know, I have no idea. I think I would have to actually spend some time living not in "survival mode" to have any idea about that. It's hard to know what you'd do if you weren't so full of anxiety time and had to constantly worry about how you'll pay your bills and eat every month and just focus on keeping your head down.
But mostly I just want to chill doing the things I normally do, maybe learn to cook tasty things if I had my own place, and could desperately use a girlfriend or even a FWB or something idc.
I understand how you feel, really. Dating apps are horrible and the commodification of romance is hurting everyone.
Thanks for being sympathetic :) I just wish this nightmare world would end already.
you’re not gonna be found less attractive for saying you program computers. This isn’t the 80s.
you’re not gonna be found less attractive for saying you program computers. This isn’t the 80s.
ok but it's probably not going to land me any dates was my point
There’s a whole contingent of internet culture people and what used to be without shame referred to as nerd culture people.
yeah, I guess. I still think I've got too many strikes against me to ever even get a date though.
I mean the answer here is that yeah, we live under Capitalism, so how much money you make absolutely matters to how good of a shot you have in the dating pool; particularly as a man.
Some people will tell you that these things don't matter, because of some weird anecdote where they make up a dude who lives out of a dumpster but gets numbers all the time, but that's not reality, and that's absolutely not the norm.
Nah, don't do that.
The thing is, you gotta learn to live with the struggle.
IDK, if this was the effect commenting was gonna have I probably shouldn't have. I'm sorry for bringing you down tonight.
The thing is, you gotta learn to live with the struggle.
what is the point? why live if you're condemned to watch as you are completely 100% passed on for all your prime dating years, until you're so old that nobody is free or attractive anymore (including yourself) and everyone's sex hormones are in decline so nobody gives a fuck anyways?
Oh boy...
So, to be completely honest with you here man, I can't give you that answer. I can tell you why I choose to keep going, but that's like, incredibly specific to me & not necessarily a reason that is salient or transferrable to you. For me it's because I've got 3 nieces & a nephew all under the age of 10, and my sister (they're all hers) tells me that I am genuinely their favorite uncle, because I am the only one who actually talks to them about what's going on with them with school, friends, and things they care about, and I'll actually run around with them outside & so on when I'm able to visit. My sister is also a reason on her own, cause we both grew up broke as hell in a trailer park with a mom who got blackout drunk on a consistent basis, and a dad who had all of the opinions & affects of modern christo-fascist conservatism, but in the 90's. So we're kind of the only two people that really understand each other, and I can't just leave her alone in the world.
So for me it's the fact that I have responsibilities to other people that come before the fact that I don't really enjoy being alive a lot of the time. Again, I can't tell you what's important to you to keep you here, but I will say that there are people who can help you find that answer, that is partly what going to a psychologist is about. If you've got close friends, who you know you can be open with you can also try to broach the subject with them in an understated way, but that's very tricky & requires a lot of mutual trust I think between the two of you. You have to be cautious with it, is what I'm saying.
There is other advice I could give, but this is what I'm prepared to share openly on the site as of the moment.
but I will say that there are people who can help you find that answer, that is partly what going to a psychologist is about.
yeah unfortunately it's like $200/hour to do that and you need many sessions
Well I probably wouldn't start to like them in any sort of romantic sense.
Having some sort of drive to do something or be interested in a particular topic or endeavour is a pretty fundamental part of my brain. I'm defining "hobbies" very broadly here, but being able to do or create things for their own sake, especially with or for other people, is a major portion of the point of my life.
Even just enjoying whipping up a good dinner for yourself once in a while counts. Bingeing Netflix as an escape doesn't to me. Obviously this is pretty subjective but it's how I relate to people.
The other thing is that I like people with a confident and well-defined sense of self, and interests and hobbies are a major part of that. I've been at the point where I want to sink time into some of the things I care about and a partner of mine has little of their own to counterbalance that, and the mismatch with how we want to spend time can be difficult. I absolutely cannot be someone's only obsession.
This is honestly my experience nowadays. Women are more likely to have at least half decent politics.
I really don't like the degree to which the alt-right has coopted overgrown facial hair.
I mean look at these guys:
We claimed this look from the beginning!The key is to also have long head hair. The chuds keep it face only. But yeah it's a bit annoying. I just wear a lot of purple / pink so no one gets any ideas.
You're absolutely right. When I had a ponytail I could sometimes get by forgetting to shave. Now that it's cut short I gotta be diligent or end up looking like a creep.
I have not had a haircut or beard trim since before the pandemic.
I'm T4T so I'm pretty sure being a communist increases my odds of getting a date actually
The overrepresentation of transfems in American socialist orgs is pretty nuts lol
I saw a profile once where this woman had put that she wanted someone "mostly progressive" or something like that, which I thought was a weird way to phrase that until I scrolled down and saw an "I have my shit together and so should you" section of her profile that mentioned she had rental properties she'd "built up" or something. Must suck wanting to meet a guy that doesn't dehumanize you but is also okay with you sucking the juices out of people too poor to buy their own home.
Hell yeah! New dude repellant!
Just admit I’m a commie and 65% of dudes leave me alone!
Probably more like 85% - Living semi-rural in a historically conservative area suuuuuuck. And progressives tend to respect the nonverbal fuck off signals, so just a ton of conservative dickbags bothering..
Creepy dudebros that pull people's earbuds out to "just talk to them" ought to be eligible for mace and/or pepper spray.
I was lurking the joerogan subreddit and they were big mad about this.
Screaming and crying and throwing up and shaving my neck rn
But yeah idc that most women don't want to date a vegan/communist/etc. It's convenient for me since I don't want to date anyone who isn't. This way I don't have to do all of the filtering myself. I hate talking to someone, scheduling a date, and then learning that they are a squishy liberal who is presumably looking past politics because they like some other thing about me. I don't want you, you are wasting both our time. One time a girl literally dropped the r slur. Like did you read the bio or not? Jesus, people.
yeah I was gonna come say this. Most everyday regular people think the word communist just means "bad." They don't ascribe it any particular political leaning, they don't associate it with leftism or welfare or working class concerns or anything. It carries the same weight as a word like authoritarian or tyrant. Most everyday folk if pressed to describe what a communist believes will instead describe a cartoon of a greedy autocrat who makes everyone poor and causes the crops to die.
