I seem to pick a different constant issue of mine to bring up in each version of this thread. I guess today it's imposter syndrome. It is so exhausting to feel like you never accomplish anything, and whatever you do accomplish is supbar, despite any and all evidence to the contrary. Just the constant anxiety of living a delusional paranoia of waiting for your boss to finally stop lying to you about you doing good work and admit they were just waiting for the right moment to shitcan you. I know it's not coming, and it obviously seems that by whatever standards I'm being judged by I usually meet and exceed them. But I can never find solace in that. I can't accept it. It's hell.
Seriously. Review season sends me into a tailspin because I'm convinced my boss will finally notice I'm a worthless piece of shit who never gets anything done. It made it so it took SO LONG for me to get out of a job I didn't like and get a new one that was a much better fit because I was convinced only my old boss would be dumb enough not to notice that I can't do anything right and anyone else would shitcan me immediately (despite no other past boss "figuring it out" either.)
I just don’t have the motivation to get over my nervousness and do it
I wish I had a magic wand or a One Weird Trick that could get ya over the hump. In my case the new gig was all but gift wrapped and placed into my hands for me. That's what it took, and seeing how much it had to be handed to me just made me feel worse too. All totally unhelpful thoughts but that's where my brain goes with it.
Man I feel all of this 100%. I'm pretty stressed about reviews too because this is my first reviews with this company, and I've never had it where they have a year end bonus based on hitting personal goals you set at the beginning of the year and dear lord I could really use that bonus rn.
I seem to pick a different constant issue of mine to bring up in each version of this thread. I guess today it's imposter syndrome. It is so exhausting to feel like you never accomplish anything, and whatever you do accomplish is supbar, despite any and all evidence to the contrary. Just the constant anxiety of living a delusional paranoia of waiting for your boss to finally stop lying to you about you doing good work and admit they were just waiting for the right moment to shitcan you. I know it's not coming, and it obviously seems that by whatever standards I'm being judged by I usually meet and exceed them. But I can never find solace in that. I can't accept it. It's hell.
Seriously. Review season sends me into a tailspin because I'm convinced my boss will finally notice I'm a worthless piece of shit who never gets anything done. It made it so it took SO LONG for me to get out of a job I didn't like and get a new one that was a much better fit because I was convinced only my old boss would be dumb enough not to notice that I can't do anything right and anyone else would shitcan me immediately (despite no other past boss "figuring it out" either.)
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I wish I had a magic wand or a One Weird Trick that could get ya over the hump. In my case the new gig was all but gift wrapped and placed into my hands for me. That's what it took, and seeing how much it had to be handed to me just made me feel worse too. All totally unhelpful thoughts but that's where my brain goes with it.
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deleted by creator
Man I feel all of this 100%. I'm pretty stressed about reviews too because this is my first reviews with this company, and I've never had it where they have a year end bonus based on hitting personal goals you set at the beginning of the year and dear lord I could really use that bonus rn.