Good evening comrades and welcome to your mental health thread. How is everyone doing?
Unlike last Monday, I didn't have intrusive thoughts telling me to chop my finger off to get time off work, so that's a bonus. Turns out going two days without SSRIs will do that to you, thus instilling the fear of god into me as to what will happen if I ever need to wean myself off them.
On the downside, I still have to work. I talked to my boss and I might be able to negotiate keeping a single earphone while I work to shoo away the intrusive thoughts. If I don't get a weighted blanket for [Capitalist winter solstice Holiday], I'm doing overtime til I can afford it.
Great to hear you're doing better, comrade! In my experience, it's possible to wean off SSRIs provided you're ready for it and you do it very gradually.
Anger issues are getting worse. Punched a guy for being homophobic when he found out I was gay, might have broken his jaw. Somewhat regret it.
I mean good luck with dealing with your anger but also, in a very real way, o7
What you did was incredibly based. Hope you're safe from the pigs though.
I seem to pick a different constant issue of mine to bring up in each version of this thread. I guess today it's imposter syndrome. It is so exhausting to feel like you never accomplish anything, and whatever you do accomplish is supbar, despite any and all evidence to the contrary. Just the constant anxiety of living a delusional paranoia of waiting for your boss to finally stop lying to you about you doing good work and admit they were just waiting for the right moment to shitcan you. I know it's not coming, and it obviously seems that by whatever standards I'm being judged by I usually meet and exceed them. But I can never find solace in that. I can't accept it. It's hell.
Seriously. Review season sends me into a tailspin because I'm convinced my boss will finally notice I'm a worthless piece of shit who never gets anything done. It made it so it took SO LONG for me to get out of a job I didn't like and get a new one that was a much better fit because I was convinced only my old boss would be dumb enough not to notice that I can't do anything right and anyone else would shitcan me immediately (despite no other past boss "figuring it out" either.)
I just don’t have the motivation to get over my nervousness and do it
I wish I had a magic wand or a One Weird Trick that could get ya over the hump. In my case the new gig was all but gift wrapped and placed into my hands for me. That's what it took, and seeing how much it had to be handed to me just made me feel worse too. All totally unhelpful thoughts but that's where my brain goes with it.
Man I feel all of this 100%. I'm pretty stressed about reviews too because this is my first reviews with this company, and I've never had it where they have a year end bonus based on hitting personal goals you set at the beginning of the year and dear lord I could really use that bonus rn.
I haven't felt truly well in months and don't expect to for at least another month or two. Part of it is due to the pandemic, but only indirectly. I'm relatively safe but it fucked up my plans of moving in with my friends and getting some space from dysfunctional relationships. It's extremely frustrating because I've been working on my life for years and made a lot of progress but hellworld won't give me a fucking break. I believe I'm not a shit person and deserve to feel truly well but I'm still waiting for that day to come.
On the positive side, I exercised on two days last week and want to start exercising three times a week. Also, I've been playing Fallout 4 with mods and it's fun as hell. The struggle continues. :unity:
I’ve managed to fall asleep before 1am and wake up to an 8am alarm 3 days in a row, that’s a huge step in the right direction for me. I’ve been dealing with insomnia and sleeping in until 1pm for the past 9 months.
I’ve also lost 5 lbs in the last month by eating less fast food, and I started doing some beginners bodyweight exercises this week because that’s supposed to help with depression.
That's awesome, I also started doing beginner bodyweight exercises! Which ones are you doing? I'm doing the minimalist routine from the bodyweight subreddit. I know it's the most generic advice ever but I found that yoga also helps with depression. :unity:
I’ve lurked around the bodyweight fitness sub for years but every time I tried their routines, they were too tough for me lol. But that’s awesome that you started it, keep it up!
I found this routine and I’ve done two workouts so far. My muscles are killing me which means it’s working, and it wasn’t too intense at all.
I’ve been reading more about things that help with depression and trying to incorporate them into my life. Since my depression is so major and my lifestyle doesn’t help, I’m trying to give myself more of a fighting chance. So I’m trying to address my sleep (not taking my phone to bed, getting off my games by midnight), adding exercise, eating breakfast, and spending my mornings with my cat instead of doom scrolling for 3 hours before I get out of bed. So far I’m actually feeling great, lol.
Thanks for the link! That actually looks harder than what I'm doing so maybe I'll try it when I get a bit stronger.
In my experience, there's no single thing that can cure depression, it's all about developing healthy habits and changing your lifestyle. Sounds like you're doing great, keep it up and keep us updated! :unity:
Thanks for the support! I’ve been struggling with depression for 16 years, and this year has completely broken me down. But I’m in therapy and working on getting my meds right.
I was tired of never having anything positive to report back to my case manager, so I decided to try a few universal things that would improve my mood and quality of life.
Now if I can try to stick to these things and stave off a depressive episode for the next few weeks, I might be able to pull myself out of this hole that I’m in. I’m not looking for a cure, but I need this shit to be more manageable.
Thanks for the weekly posts, they mean a lot!
Glad you like the weekly threads! I love it when people check in regularly. It's easier to fight when you know you're not alone.
Hello it's going really fucking shit! I can only express it in anger, frustration and self-deprecating humor though.
Yesterday I broke down because I felt pressured from every side, like, at work, at home, etc.
24 year old jobless, career-less arts degree holding NEET here. planning on checking out with rope and a door knob in a month but my resolve slips whenever i think what it’ll do to my parents and s/o...fuck. i’d say it’s been a normal mental health week.
Sorry to hear you're suffering, comrade. Being unemployed in capitalism feels like shit. Remember that you haven't failed anyone, this miserable hellworld has failed you. Don't take it hard on yourself, none of this shit is your fault. There are enough resources on this planet that we could all live in a utopia but instead people choose barbarism every day. You have enormous intrinsic value regardless of your employment status, don't let capitalist ghouls convince you otherwise. I hope you have a good week, please check in next week too! We can do this together. :unity:
I've been doing well but I can feel myself slipping. My schedule is gone and I have my final exams in summer, which I'm just pretending don't exist. That's what I've done for pretty much all homework and study - ignore it and give a lame excuse as to why I didn't do it. I have a project due for January that I don't know if I have the skills to do well. So yeah, I've been better. I also keep thinking about violent death, so that's probably bad.
Not great.
It's probably SAD, and so I need to dig up my therapy lamp.
And I know I need to be focusing on getting exercise and eating healthy and getting sleep, and that if I do that for a week or two, I'll feel better. But I haven't been been any of those and instead doubling down on junk food and doomscrolling.