Safe and consensual are really the only check list if both filled out then there should be no guilt or shame. It gets kind of disconcerting when I hear of guys having a lot of shame when it comes to sexual urges. I mean this in a non judgmental way because I do understand if they might have things to work through but to be horny and miserable sounds not very pleasant.
Yeah, I think there's definitely something to that, a lot of left leaning straight guys are really hesitant to talk about their desires since there's this perception that it's inherently objectifying.
Hot take: I have kind of a suspicion that a lot of the men ironically talking about doing gay stuff (I know most of you fuckers are straight) are actually sort of acting on a desire to express your sexuality but still not wanting to express it towards women for fear of seeming predatory. Or maybe I'm being so woke I go all the way around to being reactionary, unsure.
Yeah, part perception of not wanting to see themselves or be seen as a predator I think. I think that a huge trick actual predators do is to get regular guys to second guess there own behavior so as to not call them out when being predatory. For a while growing up was super concerned with being creepy and don't get me wrong having empathy for other people and not wanting them to feel unsafe is good but while I was super focused on my own behavior I was effectively blind to other people if that makes sense. Now I try to read people as best I can while not being caught up in my own mind.
I also think that that best way to combat this is by having empathy for women and realizing y'all have sexual urges probably as strong if not stronger than us guys. Otherwise I think guys can maybe fall into denial about women being sexual. Probably the best empathy building exercise is reading about and asking women about their sexual urges if they open to it. Been realizing y'all are a bunch of perverts like us guys so that's cool. Been reading Nancy Friday books on women's sexual fantasies and its been eye opening. Don't know much about the author tbh but the books are filled with a lot of anonymous anecdotes of not just women but also men secret fantasies.
But as you said it's easier to express sexuality to men for straight guys than towards women here or least I felt that at first if I'm being honest. Actually not just here since I remembering I did this with my friend group in high school but while I was doing it because I was uncomfortable expressing sexual interest in women for fear of being seen as a creep the rest of my friends were all either gay or bi and having fun. I was the only straight one in my friend group and was dense as hell that it hurts thinking about it.
It's an artifact of the changing view of sexuality to a more liberating one I think. We're in a growing pain period that results in some real awkward and contradictory moments we've got to work through.
Been realizing y’all are a bunch of perverts like us guys so that’s cool.
We can do as we want, but we cannot chose what we want
-Some German philosopher or something
Yeah to indulge in our fetishes or not. I've always been in indulge because life's too short anyway.
Long as it's all safe and consensual, go wild I say👍🏼
Safe and consensual are really the only check list if both filled out then there should be no guilt or shame. It gets kind of disconcerting when I hear of guys having a lot of shame when it comes to sexual urges. I mean this in a non judgmental way because I do understand if they might have things to work through but to be horny and miserable sounds not very pleasant.
Yeah, I think there's definitely something to that, a lot of left leaning straight guys are really hesitant to talk about their desires since there's this perception that it's inherently objectifying.
Hot take: I have kind of a suspicion that a lot of the men ironically talking about doing gay stuff (I know most of you fuckers are straight) are actually sort of acting on a desire to express your sexuality but still not wanting to express it towards women for fear of seeming predatory. Or maybe I'm being so woke I go all the way around to being reactionary, unsure.
Yeah, part perception of not wanting to see themselves or be seen as a predator I think. I think that a huge trick actual predators do is to get regular guys to second guess there own behavior so as to not call them out when being predatory. For a while growing up was super concerned with being creepy and don't get me wrong having empathy for other people and not wanting them to feel unsafe is good but while I was super focused on my own behavior I was effectively blind to other people if that makes sense. Now I try to read people as best I can while not being caught up in my own mind.
I also think that that best way to combat this is by having empathy for women and realizing y'all have sexual urges probably as strong if not stronger than us guys. Otherwise I think guys can maybe fall into denial about women being sexual. Probably the best empathy building exercise is reading about and asking women about their sexual urges if they open to it. Been realizing y'all are a bunch of perverts like us guys so that's cool. Been reading Nancy Friday books on women's sexual fantasies and its been eye opening. Don't know much about the author tbh but the books are filled with a lot of anonymous anecdotes of not just women but also men secret fantasies.
But as you said it's easier to express sexuality to men for straight guys than towards women here or least I felt that at first if I'm being honest. Actually not just here since I remembering I did this with my friend group in high school but while I was doing it because I was uncomfortable expressing sexual interest in women for fear of being seen as a creep the rest of my friends were all either gay or bi and having fun. I was the only straight one in my friend group and was dense as hell that it hurts thinking about it.
It's an artifact of the changing view of sexuality to a more liberating one I think. We're in a growing pain period that results in some real awkward and contradictory moments we've got to work through.
Just recognized your username hehe
Introspection is painful but super rewarding. Also glad I made a good impression I hope. You certainly did to me.
😁