Ok, I just had the best idea for a horror movie:

Imagine if ghosts were real. Sounds like a standard ghost movie, right? WRONG!

Imagine if every chicken, cow and pig you've ever eaten suddenly decided to haunt you?

MOTHER. FUCKING. CHICKEN GHOST ARMY.

I'm going to be so rich. :party-sicko:

  • yeahjeets [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Legit question for rural Americans – How do I kill the 30-50 feral ghost hogs that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play

    • Washburn [she/her]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Super Soaker full of holy water.

      Better get quick refilling it though since the LIEberal FACISTS banned swapping your tank with a 2 liter bottle 😡

    • happybadger [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Hello vegan, I'm a pilot who can fly a plane which I fly as the pilot of the plane.

  • TossedAccount [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    This is unironically a brilliant idea, which is why Hollywood will never make it without completely bowdlerizing or bastardizing it. I could perhaps imagine a grimdark adult comedy version of something like Chicken Run or Free Birds where the animals' rebellion/escape in what would have been act 3 fails in the film's prologue and we fast forward to years after they were slaughtered and they plot to haunt the people and household pets who ate them from beyond the grave, similar to Sausage Party's treatment of Pixar films about talking animals and talking inanimate objects.

  • Not_irony [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Pet Cemetery 2: KFC "They're not clucking around" "It's thyme to fry"

  • redthebaron [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    this sounds like a movie i would watch in the middle of the night and then comment about it with my friends and get slowly more and more convinced i imagined the movie

    • sappho [she/her]
      ·
      4 years ago

      This how I felt after watching Sorry to Bother You while stoned

      • TossedAccount [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        Watching that film for the first time while stoned sounds like an utterly terrifying experience, I could barely handle it while sober.

        • LeninWalksTheWorld [any]
          ·
          4 years ago

          The second time I watched it I watched it tripping and I just got really excited everytime I saw a communistic scene

        • sappho [she/her]
          ·
          4 years ago

          Yeah I would not recommend it! It enhanced the experience for the first two acts, and then shit went bad. It genuinely really upset my friend who was on an edible and just getting into leftist ideas.

    • TossedAccount [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      This but much gorier. Think more like the turkeys mauling Kenny in the South Park Thanksgiving episode from the first season.

    • Terminalfilth [they/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      I like that all the bosses still show up. Like, dude, all I did was shoot you with tranqs until you decided to yell your codename and explode, fuck The End died of natural causes cause I didn't play for two weeks after starting the fight. Shit is not on me.

  • Pezevenk [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    4 years ago

    I once watched a mediocre horror film in my sleep. By that I don't mean that my dream was like a mediocre horror film, the dream was about me watching a horror film, which actually had a sorta consistent plot and characters.

    It starred Robert Downey Jr as a single dad, someone who mayyyybe was Julia Roberts (only younger, she was around 30something or 40 in the movie) but it wasn't entirely clear playing his friend who lives on the apartment just above his (and who is also implicitly lesbian, I have no clue why that detail was there but it was), some kid who played... Well, RDJ's kid, and some old guy who used to own a tavern close to my home as RDJ's dad. So basically an all star cast.

    The basic plot of the movie was that there's this demon that rings your doorbell, and when you answer, he basically gives you a curse where whomever's name you THINK of, they are killed by the demon. So it is sorta like Death Note except it is extremely easy to kill someone you love accidentally and that's kinda where the drama comes in. It's kinda blurry but I think RDJ's dad died that way eventually.

    I even remember a typical fake out scene, where the bell rings again and RDJ is sure it is the demon because he isn't expecting anyone, but his dumb kid just rushes to open the door (since the kid doesn't know about the demon shit) before RDJ can stop him, and there is all this tension and musical cues and it turns out it's actually just implicitly lesbian maybe Julia Roberts, who wanted to surprise RDJ with a cake because it was his birthday. Wasn't a good movie but the dynamic between single dad RDJ and lesbian friend maybe Julia Roberts was kind of unusual and I liked the scenes with them. Maybe it is because single dads aren't terribly common in movies, and if there was a female character involved, she would normally end up being a love interest, whereas now they're just friends living next door and having wholesome birthday dinners together while demons are trying to kill them.

    What I'm saying is, I make better movies than Blumhouse in my sleep.

    • Terminalfilth [they/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      It's True Believer. I haven't seen the movie and have the weirdest fucking reason for knowing this.

      Partner and I were going through my giant VHS collection in my parents house and took some unlabeled tapes to see what they were. One was kids in the hall taped off TV in the early 90s and that movie was advertised constantly. This was like three days ago.

          • Pezevenk [he/him]
            ·
            edit-2
            4 years ago

            I'm not half remembering, it's literally a movie that doesn't exist and I made up in my sleep lol

            Or I guess my brain made it up, I wasn't conscious...

  • SerLava [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    How long do the ghosts last though?

    Think of the number of animals that have died

    The whole Earth would be blanketed in a massive cloud of ghosts

  • a_jug_of_marx_piss [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Ok, but if I eat a chicken leg, and someone else eats the rest of the chicken, who gets haunted? Surely a chicken ghost can't haunt multiple people simultaneously? Would I be haunted by just a ghost leg? Would the ghosts organize and assign each person ghosts based on total mass eaten? Kinda makes it less scary if there is a whole ghost bureaucracy.

    • CarlMarksToeCheese [comrade/them]
      ·
      edit-2
      4 years ago

      Is this a revolutionary act or a beaucratic one? If this is something like, idk, Santa Claus where everyone is being judged periodically and gets an appropriate punishment/reward then yeah it wouldn't be that scary. But a bunch of pissed off ghost animals going after anyone who eats meat while making an example of the worst participants would be S P O O K Y

  • CarlMarksToeCheese [comrade/them]
    ·
    4 years ago

    In the climax the protagonist manages to beat back/stop the swarms of chickens, cows, and pigs and thinks its finally over but suddenly

    Every bug, bird, reptile, and animal that died for the land and land for feed for the animals that were eaten come pouring over the hilltops

    :party-sicko:

    • Dirt_Owl [comrade/them, they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      The end of the movie is when they feel safe a fucking polar bear ghost bursts through the window oh shit now the global warming casualties are joining in too