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not wanting to date trans women stems from y’all not viewing them as “real” women... so yes your “preference” is transphobic.— destiny (@MAM1SHAMPOO) July 1, 2020

If you thought you were a true ally, maybe it's time for some introspection.

          • hogposting [he/him,comrade/them]
            2·
            4 years ago

            if they’re frustrated or discouraged and they don’t phrase those things in the most comfortable way for the group hurting them to read, it’s theyre fault.

            If it gets as adversarial as "you're at fault here," yeah, that's a shitty way of approaching comments like this. People should never be blamed for talking about their struggles. But an approach of "I think this would communicate the exact same point in a way that will get more people on our side, so we can address those struggles" seems pretty useful, as getting a bunch more people on our side is necessary to make the biggest improvements in the lives of trans people.

              • hogposting [he/him,comrade/them]
                1·
                4 years ago

                If it's "let's not talk about it because reasons," that's definitely bullshit. James Baldwin nailed this point 40 years ago with his "How much time do you want for your progress?" remarks. We should not be sidelining the interests of our trans comrades, especially when just speaking about the issue can help create a less bigoted environment.

                But if it's "let's talk about it, and here's how I think we can talk about it such that we achieve meaningful results as soon as possible?" That sounds like a conversation sincerely interested in moving things in the right direction.

      • congressbaseballfan [she/her]
        1·
        4 years ago

        Genuine question - can both be true? Can someone be a transphobe for not wanting to date someone but still an ally? Or more specifically sleep with someone?

        Edit: I’ll leave my question as is, but my intention was to ask about sex, not about dating as in being seen on the street with someone or exploring an emotional relationship

          • congressbaseballfan [she/her]
            ·
            4 years ago

            Totally agree. I rephrased the dialogue a bit in a comment above to refocus more on the sexual aspect. I didn’t mean to phrase it as terf Puritanism about who a “woman” is but it could be taken that way in the context of dating.

          • disco [any]
            ·
            4 years ago

            Can you be transphobic and be an ally?

            I know the answer you’re aiming for is “no” but...

            If someone has some problematic ideas, but when push comes to shove, they will stand between a trans comrade and a barrage of police impact munitions, are they not an ally?

            This isn’t a just some far off hypothetical, either it’s a real situation that I witnessed first hand in Portland multiple times. It’s a big part of why I get so upset by these struggle sessions, because they remind me of some of the fights that ripped that movement apart.

          • congressbaseballfan [she/her]
            ·
            4 years ago

            Yeah I think you’re understanding the angle right.. Maybe normalizing discourse around the sexual aspects is needed to mitigate some of the issues (frankly, this is an issue within the LGBT community, let alone a broader population) this phenomenon.

    • kristina [she/her]
      ·
      4 years ago

      also tbf dating a dude that feels iffy on your genitals isnt gonna be fun from the get go, find a nice comrade and settle down like i did

      • gay [any]
        ·
        4 years ago

        and some shithead walks up and says “if you don’t want to have drop you pants and have sex with a trans woman right now you are not a comrade you are a sexist transphobic piece of shit.”

        Cis people will see a bunch of trans people call out society's transphobia on Chapo dot chat and compare it to rape

        • gay [any]
          ·
          4 years ago

          That's what cis people think when you tell them that the statement "I wouldn't date a trans person" is transphobic. It's this victim mentality, this fear that makes them transphobic. They just think trans women are predators