"Biden Administration looks for 'fresh start' after lackluster 100 days"
"Biden condemns violence of riots 'on both sides' after lastest fatal shootings"
"Hottest August on record"
"Nation mourns as covid-19 deaths hit 500,000"
"Stock market reaches record levels"
"Inspiring homeless nurse still manages to treat COVID19 patient, as new record of daily cases hits California"
"Former Presidents meet at Mar-a-Lago for photo shoot"
Shit isn't hard. Hire me The Onion.
No no no it would be something more like "Businesses struggle after covid toll reaches over 500,000. Request direct measures to save the economy."
Here's another I think might happen:
"Trump's new 20 billion Netflix reality show starts next week"
"Trump's new show is a new a side of the former President. A softer, friendly Trump"