"Biden Administration looks for 'fresh start' after lackluster 100 days"
"Biden condemns violence of riots 'on both sides' after lastest fatal shootings"
"Hottest August on record"
"Nation mourns as covid-19 deaths hit 500,000"
"Stock market reaches record levels"
"Inspiring homeless nurse still manages to treat COVID19 patient, as new record of daily cases hits California"
"Former Presidents meet at Mar-a-Lago for photo shoot"
Shit isn't hard. Hire me The Onion.
ProtectnServe, the new app-based emergency services startup, launches in Minneapolis.
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cops begin offering gig jobs to independent contractors by claiming the workers are operating as legal deputized bounty hunters, bounty hunting comes back in the stupidest way possible through apps and direct cash payments, climate change destroys earth and humanity resettles on Mars, crime syndicates form to combat the independent bounty hunters, jazz comes back due to nostalgia cycles, crime syndicates begin dealing in the performance enhancing drug "red eye", the hacker only known as 'Radical Edward' makes contact with a sentient terraforming satellite, etc etc. I think I've seen this one before
Isn't ProtectnServe a real thing for private security
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