What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
my top 3, in no particular order:
I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.
Its followup, The Coca Cola company is not happy with me--that's okay, I'll still keep drinking that garbage.
i love the diet coke (soda) clarification, like there's a single person on the planet who could possibly read a tweet but not know what coke is
It's just top tier boomer posting, only a few can do it :dril:
probably because he thinks he's being profound or something, unraveled the secret of how diet coke doesn't work
My favorite tweet is after he cumbrapped that Iranian general he posted a low res picture of the American flag and it wasn't even cropped correctly
-7DeadlyFetishes
Sissy Graydon Carter of failing Vanity Fair magazine and owner of bad food restaurants has a problem-his V.F. Oscar party is no longer "hot"
"Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me ""old,"" when I would NEVER call him ""short and fat?"" Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen!"
FEELING GREAT! - Oct 6th 2020
"I JUST GOT IMPEACHED FOR MAKING A PERFECT PHONE CALL!"
Not a tweet but I forgot to bring it up in the previous funniest moments of Trump thread, and most of you won't know about it because it was only big in Greek press. Our prime minister and his wife met with Trump last year and Trump asked the wife if "First Lady" is a thing in Greece. She told him no, and he said "well from now on I declare you First Lady".
i was too focused on making my restaurants "hot" and not enough on making them good
Best line in the Elizabeth Warren beer catastrophe is, to her husband, “Thank you for being here. I’m glad you’re here” It’s their house, he’s supposed to be there!
https://www.thetrumparchive.com/
Many people have said I’m the world’s greatest writer of 140 character sentences.
"@johnnyhabit: @realDonaldTrump why the fuck do I even follow you? Because you're addicted to genius, asshole!
Losers and haters,even you, as low and dumb as you are, can learn from watching Apprentice and checking out my tweets-you can still succeed!
An 'extremely credible source' has called my office and told me that @BarackObama's birth certificate is a fraud.
"@YoungBasedGod_g: @realDonaldTrump your dad gives good brain?? Damn" It's called genes!