so i’m dating a girl, and last night she mentioned she had BPD. i didn’t think much of it, i wasn’t familiar with it. i just started doing research and went to reddit (maybe a big mistake) just to see what ‘real life’ people were saying about it. it’s /r/BPDlovedones and it’s basically victims of people who have dated someone with BPD...
it’s currently scaring the shit out of me and kind of making me have a panic attack. there was a post saying “Any advice for someone starting to date a person with BPD?” and literally everyone said “Don’t. they’ll ruin your life. the person they are now is not who they really are. they change themselves to adjust to your personality” and it all the basic patterns align with what i’m experiencing. it’s very scary. i don’t know what to do.
edit: yeah it’s just shitty non-BPD being very hateful and resentful. very insensitive, kinda dramatic. anyway
i know reddit is infamous for having these ‘victim’ groups who hate on a certain type of people who ruined their lives, and it feels very dehumanizing. i don’t think it is impossible to date this person and i don’t want to just stop seeing them. i don’t know what to do tbh. just very overwhelmed
I have a lot to say on this topic and typed out a lot of it but it was getting really long-winded.
If you decide to continue a relationship with this person I would recommend only doing so if they are actively seeing a therapist. Dialectical behavioral therapy is a good search term if they need a place to start in finding one, as this treatment was developed for those suffering from BPD.
I would also recommend picking up "I hate you, don't leave me" by Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus. There are things I dislike about it, but I think it would help you.