I think firstly, its important to remember that a lot of ideas are informed by the world around you and it doesn't necessarily make you a bad person just because you realized or someone has pointed out that your ideas might be associated with bigotry. If someone has, try not to make it about yourself (like even if someone isn't being super nice about it, think about why you're more concerned with how you're being criticized rather than how your words affect others. Focus on WHY you are being critized vs. how . not saying you do this but I see it a lot here
As for next steps its really hard to say because it can be different for everyone. Maybe try and think about how you dismantle capitalist poisoned ideas and apply it to other areas?
For example: Feeling less worthy because of your income. It's very normal to feel this way because in capitalist hellworld everyone around you has either explicitly or subtly reinforced ideas around money based meritocracy. Its OK to have this feeling but also recognize that it comes from a shiity and unfair world and its not some objective sentiment or one that comes from thin air. Its a constant battle and it sucks but it does get easier over time. As I learned more leftist ideas, I got better at catching myself for feeling bad about doing things that "weren't productive".
Another thing is that your sense of normalcy is completely constructed and sometimes things that are out of your control can still be problematic And it's ok to not like things but really think about how you enage with others about it. Like if you dislike a certain style of music its ok to not force yourself to like it but also recognize that maybe one of the reasons you don't is because you haven't been exposed to it (i think studies have found that people tastes in music tend to be mostly formed during their teens). If a style of music has not been supported due to racism during that time, then your tastes are shaped by racism even if it is out of your control or doesn't seem like it at first. Its ok to admit that and work towards supporting and not putting down certain marginalized styles even if its not your cup of tea.
I think firstly, its important to remember that a lot of ideas are informed by the world around you and it doesn't necessarily make you a bad person just because you realized or someone has pointed out that your ideas might be associated with bigotry. If someone has, try not to make it about yourself (like even if someone isn't being super nice about it, think about why you're more concerned with how you're being criticized rather than how your words affect others. Focus on WHY you are being critized vs. how . not saying you do this but I see it a lot here
As for next steps its really hard to say because it can be different for everyone. Maybe try and think about how you dismantle capitalist poisoned ideas and apply it to other areas?
For example: Feeling less worthy because of your income. It's very normal to feel this way because in capitalist hellworld everyone around you has either explicitly or subtly reinforced ideas around money based meritocracy. Its OK to have this feeling but also recognize that it comes from a shiity and unfair world and its not some objective sentiment or one that comes from thin air. Its a constant battle and it sucks but it does get easier over time. As I learned more leftist ideas, I got better at catching myself for feeling bad about doing things that "weren't productive".
Another thing is that your sense of normalcy is completely constructed and sometimes things that are out of your control can still be problematic And it's ok to not like things but really think about how you enage with others about it. Like if you dislike a certain style of music its ok to not force yourself to like it but also recognize that maybe one of the reasons you don't is because you haven't been exposed to it (i think studies have found that people tastes in music tend to be mostly formed during their teens). If a style of music has not been supported due to racism during that time, then your tastes are shaped by racism even if it is out of your control or doesn't seem like it at first. Its ok to admit that and work towards supporting and not putting down certain marginalized styles even if its not your cup of tea.