Got to exercise, got to cook some good food, and Ms. PigPoopBalls is gonna be here to move in soon. What good things have happened to you today, comrades?

    • PigPoopBallsGuy [he/him,use name]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      Metabolizing like a nuclear submarine is a necessary prerequisite to this strategy, but beats the hell out of not eating enough as I previously did

      • gayhobbes [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        sigh You're probably also handsome and bench press cars.

        • PigPoopBallsGuy [he/him,use name]
          hexagon
          ·
          4 years ago

          No on both counts, unfortunately. I've been the ugly one in literally every relationship I've been in and have a relatively weak chest. It's okay though, I continue to grow stronger until I can bench press cars like great Siberian bear!

          • gayhobbes [he/him]
            ·
            4 years ago

            If you can't be handsome at least be handy. Jump a dead battery and no one gives a shit what you look like.

            • PigPoopBallsGuy [he/him,use name]
              hexagon
              ·
              4 years ago

              If the sole metric of attraction is number of times I've jumped a car, I may as well be Kit Harington lmao. Both my ex-boyfriend's car and current girlfriend's car have the worst goddamn batteries on the planet.

              • gayhobbes [he/him]
                ·
                4 years ago

                Yeah the monkey part of my brain wants you to mate with me so we have strong kids. And I can jump a car myself!

                • PigPoopBallsGuy [he/him,use name]
                  hexagon
                  ·
                  4 years ago

                  Oh hell yeah my monke brain sees boy or girl pick up big thing and say "yes very good will make strong parent," even though I don't want kids. Hell, lady PigPoopBalls and I met at a gym and she is quite literally capable of hoisting me over her head