This was in my high school and early college years, later on in life I was able develop romantic relationships with them and healthy platonic relationships. I’ll be upfront and say a lot of the times if a straight dude hates women vehemently, it’s probably because he’s not getting laid or able to form any semblance of a romance with a woman.
Yeah never went down that road of PUA redpill. By good graces I’m fairly good looking and tall, so for me I just had to stop acting like an asshole and a creep and that helped immensely. Other dudes need a little more help or they do end up in those dangerous communities.
I don’t know all the answers as to how we fix this. As you’re right, simply telling someone ‘be yourself’ is not enough, it’s more complex and the help needed is more complex.