You have 10 minutes before the cops arrive. If you break 50k they have to let you go, no questions asked.

What's your plan?

  • dannoffs@lemmy.sdf.org
    ·
    9 months ago

    50k is easy. Run across the field behind my house to the hospital parking lot and dent the bodywork on like two Rivians.

    • Findom_DeLuise [she/her, they/them]
      ·
      9 months ago

      Or most any fiberglass/plastic trim panels on a Mercedes, BMW, or higher-end Audi. Hell, a wooden oar could make short work of the body panels on a Corvette.

  • Frank [he/him, he/him]
    ·
    9 months ago

    I would simply pull a Musashi and carve my oar in to a bokken, then use it to defeat the police when they arrive.

    • LanyrdSkynrd [he/him]
      ·
      9 months ago

      The headlight housings cost a lot more than the windshields. On newer cars with LED or projectors they can be in the thousands.

    • Grandpa_garbagio [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      9 months ago

      That's my plan, but I'm in a dense urban environment where it's theoretically possible

    • Grandpa_garbagio [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      9 months ago

      before your crime spree? negligible.

      after? depends on what you accomplish with it

  • Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her]
    ·
    9 months ago

    I guess it ultimately depends on what's nearby

    If I'm in some derelict, abandoned factory building, I'd be proud of myself if I managed $100 in damage

    In an art museum, I might be able to make that in a few well placed swings

  • Mindfury [he/him]
    ·
    9 months ago

    I'm sitting in my office currently. there are like 200 lcd monitors in my eyeline right now.
    however, the crowd of people around me might do something if i just start swinging given the wtf reaction would be high.
    so i'm walking straight over to the lifts and going to the carpark. would take be 1-2 mins to get down there.

    second option that just came into my head: i'm sure someone in my immediate vicinity smokes, so i could get a lighter and light the oar on fire. this would trigger the smoke alarms and sprinklers, the water would then presumably destroy nearly all of the hundreds of monitors, dell docks, laptops and the proper IT dev pcs/internal environment servers on our floor. not as cathartic, but an efficient win i guess

  • Findom_DeLuise [she/her, they/them]
    ·
    9 months ago

    Can I use the wooden oar as firewood to start a fire directly underneath the propane canister cage outside of a Home Depot with a crowded parking lot? Failing that, same question, but gas station full of either luxury cars or oversized pedestrian-killer pickup trucks.

  • ElGosso [he/him]
    ·
    9 months ago

    Seems pretty easy, just start smashing every window I see.

  • dmonzel@lemm.ee
    ·
    9 months ago

    Am I allowed to wrap the oar in a kerosene-soaked rag, light it up, and throw it at a stand of running gas pumps?

    • Grandpa_garbagio [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      9 months ago

      totally allowed yeah. caveat being that additional damage after the 10 minute mark doesn't count, i.e. from an ongoing fire, but explosions are definitely free game.