Permanently Deleted

  • Dirt_Owl [comrade/them, they/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    4 years ago

    It's just capitalism trying to get you to buy shit.

    Most women don't care if you don't buy them expensive crap. It's all bullshit. We just want someone we can trust/shares our interests.

  • JoesFrackinJack [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    I'm just gonna throw this one out there. I was dating a very liberal but pretty down to earth girl for a couple years and I know she knew about the insane exploitation the diamond industry was and we were both broke af. Anyways I made a really innocent comment one day while we were talking about marriage playfully and said something along the lines of, "Thankfully they make cubic zirconia or poor people like me would never be able to put on a ring on it." And I can't remember the exact details that followed but it ended with her being very mad at me that I never intended to spend 10k or whatever on a "real" diamond on her. We didn't get married.

      • JoesFrackinJack [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        She facetimed me maybe 4 years ago and the first thing she did after we asked each other how we were doing was bring up some bullshit that happened a long time ago. It was brutal. I just straight up asked her if she called me to get mad at me and i don't think we'll ever speak again.

  • PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    4 years ago

    Guess what, if you date someone who shares your values and is cool, then none of these are a thing.

    We got simple gold bands when we got engaged.

    We got married at City Hall, and then threw a big party. It cost nothing.

    • JoesFrackinJack [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      "He started talking about seizing some means and I was just sitting there thinking, when you gonna seize my means? hello???"

  • Abraxiel
    ·
    4 years ago

    Going on a fancy date is fun sometimes. I really like dressing up.
    Engagement rings are bullshit.
    Big, expensive weddings are a cover for the terror of not knowing how it's going to work out.

    • Zo1db3rg [comrade/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      I also think there was some study that showed the more you spend on the wedding the more likely you were to get divorced or maybe it was that the divorce happened much sooner. Idk. I just remember "expensive wedding bad cause science."

  • cumwaffle [she/her]
    ·
    4 years ago

    if a guy bought me a diamond ring or something ridiculously expensive like that i'd kill him

    just get me flowers and tell me im cute

  • Chutt_Buggins [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    4 years ago

    No, these are generally all fabrications.

    Nice walks, good talks, picnics and home cooked meals have been like 75% of my dates even if I've dated a higher amount than average of princessy types.

    Museums and art galleries are also great, and they're usually free/ cheap for the nice environment.

    Like even when going to fancy events I've never dressed up super extravagantly and been fine. Just try and show that you care about spending time with someone. The daughter of a museum curator even brought me to the advance opening of an exhibit unexpectedly, and I was wearing a flannel shirt and clunky boots in a crowd of young suited people and nothing bad happened (other than us getting into a disagreement about me being pro Mao/ pro Soviet and her being a black book of communism person). She even said despite the arguments and dress code mismatch that she'd gladly spend time talking to me more than schmoozing and looking ritzy with the others.

    Don't worry too much about those built up assumptions around romantic expectations, just worry about vibing with the right person and listening to everyone even if you're not really feeling it after all. People want people to connect with them more often than they want the perception of things looking picture perfect

    :party-parrot:

  • flees [comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    4 years ago

    Nope, just a media romance trope, and people aren’t tropes for the most part. If you don’t like those things you just have to be upfront about it with your future partner.

  • spicymangos51 [she/her]
    ·
    4 years ago

    My idea of a date is still going to the movie theater and food afterwards lol

    A date can be anything, as long as both of you have fun and get to know each other

    As for the other stuff, we payed some lady to do the marriage license stuff, and barrowed my husband's grandma's rings. Just depends on what you to want to do.

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Girls I've been with didn't care about that shit. My first I planned on buying her a simple like 2-300 something ring and that was fine, really just for show but ultimately it wouldn't matter. People are poor anyway and younger people don't really get down with boomer tradition shit.