Everything finally clicked and I now realize I've been in an abusive relationship for a while. I feel like such an idiot. I stood up for myself more than most, but my abuser found ways around that anyways. I still live with them, which makes things difficult. They are insanely good at manipulating people, even knowing they are manipulating you you still fall for it. It's like magic.
Even just being roommates and not dating they still manage to abuse me. I called them out for their behavior without directly calling them abusive a few days ago and they ran off and tried(maybe pretended?) to kill themself, while texting me how it's all my fault. Idk if they even actually were serious or just trying to fuck with me, and I don't care at this point.
Now they can't stand to be around me, me calling them out for their pattern of behavior and not letting it work on me anymore seems to have scared them. I think they abuse everyone around them, as it's the only way they feel safe interacting with other people.
I feel so alone and not at home, even in my own bed. I guess I'm proud of myself for slowly figuring out the right thing to do even without consciously thinking about it, but I still feel like an idiot for taking this long, wasting this much of my life on this bitch.
My bf is taking her side of things kinda, trying to act like we just need to reconcile things. I don't think that makes him a good bf. Idk about anything anymore. I fucked up.
Currently cycling between being numb and disassociated, and a combination of self hatred and self pity. Also I have to work in six hours. Two people are depending on me for rides. I've missed too much work to wanna call in any more due to stress from this bitch abusing me, and can't afford to lose this job.
CW: suicide, abuse
Everything finally clicked and I now realize I've been in an abusive relationship for a while. I feel like such an idiot. I stood up for myself more than most, but my abuser found ways around that anyways. I still live with them, which makes things difficult. They are insanely good at manipulating people, even knowing they are manipulating you you still fall for it. It's like magic.
Even just being roommates and not dating they still manage to abuse me. I called them out for their behavior without directly calling them abusive a few days ago and they ran off and tried(maybe pretended?) to kill themself, while texting me how it's all my fault. Idk if they even actually were serious or just trying to fuck with me, and I don't care at this point.
Now they can't stand to be around me, me calling them out for their pattern of behavior and not letting it work on me anymore seems to have scared them. I think they abuse everyone around them, as it's the only way they feel safe interacting with other people.
I feel so alone and not at home, even in my own bed. I guess I'm proud of myself for slowly figuring out the right thing to do even without consciously thinking about it, but I still feel like an idiot for taking this long, wasting this much of my life on this bitch.
My bf is taking her side of things kinda, trying to act like we just need to reconcile things. I don't think that makes him a good bf. Idk about anything anymore. I fucked up.
Currently cycling between being numb and disassociated, and a combination of self hatred and self pity. Also I have to work in six hours. Two people are depending on me for rides. I've missed too much work to wanna call in any more due to stress from this bitch abusing me, and can't afford to lose this job.