Greetings comrades and welcome to your weekly mental health thread. How is everyone doing lately?
i'm pretty sure i'm currently in a depression spiral, been starting to drink at two in the afternoon and not really wanting to talk to anyone
fun fun fun
Hope you start to come out of it soon comrade. I feel similarly like I’m spiraling and idk what to do except nothing
Still dealing with the side effects of the prozac, the 7th will be a month on the medication. If I don't start turning a corner by then I'm calling it quits and switching to something else for the ocd. Other than that, mom's passed out drunk on the floor at 2pm here and my dad is threatening to kick both of us out of the house. So nothing new there I guess. Been trying to convince my mom to just divorce my dad but how are we going to afford a lawyer? Absolutely bonkers one needs to even be involved in the first place.
Been thinking maybe being homeless wouldn't be the worst thing to ever happen to me. In a sick way it'd help because I wouldn't be means tested as hard on a welfare claim because I would have nothing to my name. But then again it is winter, I wouldn't know where to go, the police might lock me up, and I know for a fact I'd start drinking again.
Thanks. Yeah that's why I'm giving it the month here to see if it's built up enough in my brain to start working. Most days I feel so out of it, dizzy, headache, some confusion and it feels like my depression and OCD have become worse and not better. Right now I'm thinking these are all temporary side effects, hopefully. About my family, idk what to do. The idea of just walking out sounds pretty good, things just keep getting worse here.
How is it March already lol. Thank god for podcasts and video games, without them I wouldn't be able to get through the past year. By this point, 90% of my relationships are parasocial.
My life is still kind of a shitshow. If I weren't keeping a journal every day, I wouldn't believe that I ever had a good day in my life. I don't remember how that feels. I'm at a point where I say to myself out loud that life is garbage around 20 times per day. It's not good, folks. :doomer:
Currently about 6 weeks into sobriety and I'm genuinely feeling a lot better, both mentally and physically. It was only alcohol, weed, and caffeine but it's the longest stretch of not being on any substances since I was ~15. I'm eating 3 meals a day and I'm sleeping a lot better. My stomach problems are slowly going away as well which was my main reason for giving it a try. I still have some issues I need to work on but it's a big step in the right direction.
Feeling a mixture of relief and slight anxiety for the future as I handed in my resignation last Friday. My notice period will probably go a lot faster than I think, but it's better than being under constant scrutiny by my bosses. No clue what I'll do next.
Go to sleep at 6AM, wake up at 2, sit in bed until 5 and miss all my online lectures. Work out every other day. Talk to hookups. Repeat.
What a stupid existence.
CW: suicide, abuse
Everything finally clicked and I now realize I've been in an abusive relationship for a while. I feel like such an idiot. I stood up for myself more than most, but my abuser found ways around that anyways. I still live with them, which makes things difficult. They are insanely good at manipulating people, even knowing they are manipulating you you still fall for it. It's like magic.
Even just being roommates and not dating they still manage to abuse me. I called them out for their behavior without directly calling them abusive a few days ago and they ran off and tried(maybe pretended?) to kill themself, while texting me how it's all my fault. Idk if they even actually were serious or just trying to fuck with me, and I don't care at this point.
Now they can't stand to be around me, me calling them out for their pattern of behavior and not letting it work on me anymore seems to have scared them. I think they abuse everyone around them, as it's the only way they feel safe interacting with other people.
I feel so alone and not at home, even in my own bed. I guess I'm proud of myself for slowly figuring out the right thing to do even without consciously thinking about it, but I still feel like an idiot for taking this long, wasting this much of my life on this bitch.
My bf is taking her side of things kinda, trying to act like we just need to reconcile things. I don't think that makes him a good bf. Idk about anything anymore. I fucked up.
Currently cycling between being numb and disassociated, and a combination of self hatred and self pity. Also I have to work in six hours. Two people are depending on me for rides. I've missed too much work to wanna call in any more due to stress from this bitch abusing me, and can't afford to lose this job.
imagine drinking when pot is legal in your state.
also I'm really stressed out and work is a heckin nightmare.
CW : suicide
I had a breakdown earlier. I took my gf to the dentist today because she's been barely able to function lately. She's in a ton of pain because her foot is completely destroyed after a failed suicide attempt six years ago. She was a victim of sexual abuse as a child and was forced into sex work in high school so her mother wouldn't get evicted. After we went back to her place and I fell asleep on her bed between her and her dog, which used to be her sister's, but her sister didn't survive her suicide attempt last year. I woke up and I was just overwhelmed by how hard and sad her life has been. I just want to take all her pain away, but I know how unrealistic that is. She's in therapy and is responsible with taking her meds and her life is better now than it's ever been, but it just breaks my heart.
I'm doing better the past few days. Still periodically cranky as fuck tho.
Pretty depressed today, ngl. It's a combination of things, but a big one is, even tho I became eligible a day or 2 ago, scheduling a vaccine appointment has been a pain in the ass. I still don'r have one atm despite checking all the sites I can think of multiple times a day.
The main reason I want it isn't even for the sake of my health, it's in the desperate hope that once I get it my friend's parents will let us hang out again (We stopped for the 2nd time almost 3 and a half months ago now).
I don't even know for a fact if they will, but I'm trying not to think about the answer staying "no" since I'm already starting to fall apart mentally again.
Burned out. Gonna try doing bodyweight exercises regularly again. Also gonna see if I can get a raise.
