tbh all I can do is laugh at this point, sorry if this is a downer post but damn, really sucks

Wish there was an "undiagnosed ADHD for two decades which tanked your GPA so you don't qualify for any scholarships" scholarship

  • 420sixtynine [any,comrade/them]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Now you see I've almost done this one because I totally could stroke them exactly how they want, like honestly in my own personal and one of the least humble opinions I have, I could easily win it but I am not willing to A.) read Ayn Rand or B.) put my name on the essay after writing it

    • happybadger [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Deer Ayn Rand,

      I am a special boy. My whole life, people have said I'm special. Harry Potter, a book about magic and friends, stars a very special boy named Harry (Potter) who I guess you could say is like me only he got a scholarship already. If I were in Hoggerts, I would be the best at magic because I'm smart and good at everything. I wish I could live in a bubble of equally smart boys, though not as clever as I, where we did cool sciencd and magic allllllll day. Girls would date me they would have to cuz I'm the best at science and own all the cars in the bubble cuz I'm richer than the other boys and we are underwater (ocean) so I could drown them if not. If we lived in a bubble I could drown everyone who hurts me like a dog.

      Regards,

      Happybadger (or else)

      • 420sixtynine [any,comrade/them]
        ·
        4 years ago

        eh, not enough leaning into how much you hate poor people and how receiving any sort of aid is disgusting (while asking for aid, just like one author I can think of)

        • happybadger [he/him]
          ·
          4 years ago

          That's page one. Pages 2-189 are a manifesto on how many people I'd drown if given power and how I will invest the scholarship in gamestop stock to gain maximum power.

          edit: There's also a 30 page section where I try to explain bitcoin to Ayn Rand personally but then fail and become frustrated so it devolves into a technical manual on how to drown someone.