My daughter (16F) has refused to eat dog meat for about a year. Although we all enjoy a nice dog steak, me, my husband and her brother (14M) have tried to be as supportive as possible.

We aren't a family that eats dog meat daily, so it wasn't that hard for me to accommodate her. When I do cook dog meat, I also make something else for her and keep the side dishes common for all. She does have some seperate dishes, but most are common and I clean it if I have to cook for her.

Few months into refusing to eat dog meat, she tried to convince us to stop eating it too and would get increasingly angry when we said no. Me and husband shut that behaviour down hard and told her that she can follow whatever diet she wanted, but she cannot expect others to. She sulked for a while, but stopped doing that.

Last weekend, I cooked the family a big pot of chilli (a small dog-free one and a large one made from one of our Labradors, Cooper), so that I can refrigerate it and use for the next week. Next day, I found the fridge empty of both the chilli and turns out, my daughter decided that we were are being too callous about dog meat. She felt the smell was "too much" when she opened the fridge door and that she can't anything from the fridge after that without gagging or puking. She told me that I need to throw out all the dog-free food in the fridge and restock them.

Me and my husband were livid. Wasting food is never okay with us and that was a lot of food. I told her I am going to continue using the products in the fridge and she can either eat it or not, but I am not wasting food. That whole week she kept making faces at dinner while she ate.

As a punishment, I gave her the recipe and told her she needs to cook Max (another one of our Labradors) next weekend. She yelled and begged, but I stood firm. In the end, she did it.

When the cooking was finished, I told her that wasting food is never okay in this house and pointed out that instead of x amount of dog meat being used, 2x amount of dog meat (Since this seems to be confusing. I meant as in x amount in the pot she wasted + x amount in the new one. I didn't purposefully make her put more than what was used previously) was used because she threw the food away.

Now, she started crying and yelling at me about how awful and disgusting I was because I not only paid someone to kill Max (which my daughter is very much against), I also forced her to cook him and now I am also telling her that it was her fault.

She is really upset about this. So, I am wondering if I went too far. Should I have picked a different punishment? My husband and brother definitely think what I did was right while my parents thinks I was in the wrong.

I thought I will put it to a vote. AITA?

  • garbage [none/use name,he/him]
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    edit-2
    3 years ago

    lol you're a joke.

    i literally told you vegan food is way you're accessible than meat when you're homeless, and you're being a hypocrite by literally putting words in my mouth when you literally just said

    Vegans are mostly luxurious wealthy hipsters

    which is exactly the words I quoted you as saying.

    i demonstrated that homeless people have the ways and means of eating a vegan diet and explained the methods through which they do. you didn't have a real point, as I just showed you.

    edit: are you fucking with me and i'm just missing it? cause i don't understand otherwise how this is possible

    • CoolYori [she/her]
      ·
      3 years ago

      are you fucking with me and i’m just missing it?

      Far from it my friend. You won! I am going to go right now down to my local church and tell them to stop serving people food until its all vegan.

      • garbage [none/use name,he/him]
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        3 years ago

        whenever i went to a foodbank 90 percent of the food they gave out was canned vegetables and bread and pasta, and feeds usually have a vegetarian option.

        • CoolYori [she/her]
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          edit-2
          3 years ago

          You must live in an interesting area. You should come around Utah sometime. The Mormons will feed just about anybody but sadly they get to like decided what it is. When my mom would do it she would just get handed a sheet by the local Bishop all filled out by him. When my parents got divorced we so dirt poor that this stuff is all I had to eat for a long time. Perhaps there was an option like you say and I am just making as ass out of myself, but as you can see on that link its not really friendly in telling what is and isn't vegan. I am just trying to figure out how you feed people in situations where they have no choice. Sure you can walk away from stuff like the Mormon welfare programs but like is that really an option for long in an area like Utah?

          • garbage [none/use name,he/him]
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            edit-2
            3 years ago

            most of that stuff is vegan. most things are vegan. your parents didn't want to be vegan, and there's nothing wrong with that. anytime i've literally had zero access to meat it sucked. some people just want to eat meat, and there's nothing wrong with that.

            it doesn't mean you have to attack vegans as boogie though.

            most of the options on that mormon welfare sheet you just showed were vegan shit, save for the meat categories, dairy categories, desserts, honey, and the soups

            • CoolYori [she/her]
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              3 years ago

              Did ya miss the part where I told you that the Bishop fills it out for you?

              And playing the blame game really does work to push people towards your ideology. I would keep it up.

              • garbage [none/use name,he/him]
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                edit-2
                3 years ago

                regardless, your parents ate meat because they felt like it. a bag of rice is the cheapest shit ever, and most of the things that they provided you with were likely vegetables and pasta, just like everywhere else. you ate meat because you were a child of meat eaters. and if you don't want to eat meat/dairy now you don't have to. there are tons of cheap, affordable options to not eating meat/dairy.

                you do not have the right to attack vegans as doing so because they're wealthy, and the only premise i can come up with that you would do so is because you feel guilty for eating meat and feel the need to attack people who refuse to.

                sorry, but get over yourself.

                • CoolYori [she/her]
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                  edit-2
                  3 years ago

                  Please keep it up with the garbage takes. I actually like being chastised like this. It kind of getting me a little hot.

                  • RedDawn [he/him]
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                    3 years ago

                    Nobody is chastising you tbh, I’m not a vegan and I often find vegans obnoxious but I can’t understand your position in this particular instance. It seems like you’re determined to feel victimized by this post somehow.

                    • CoolYori [she/her]
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                      3 years ago

                      You don't see how someone can get defensive about being attacked for something as simple as trying to survive? What am I missing out of this to clarify things for ya?

                      • RedDawn [he/him]
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                        3 years ago

                        Nobody is attacking you for trying to survive, I can read all the comments, that hasn’t happened one time.

                        • CoolYori [she/her]
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                          edit-2
                          3 years ago

                          The argument here is a moral one is it not? When you look at the link in OP its all about shaming people about eating pets. By saying that people like my and my family choose to eat meat when we lived off church donations its kind of an attack dont ya think? That is how I read things here.

                          • RedDawn [he/him]
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                            3 years ago

                            No, it’s not an attack. He just took a literal post from somebody else complaining about their vegan daughter and changed it to dog instead of cow to make the daughter’s position more sympathetic, for humor. If you read the post again you may notice that it doesn’t mention you or your family at all.

                  • garbage [none/use name,he/him]
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                    3 years ago

                    sorry that you need to attack other people to elevate yourself and put people down for doing something that you'd obviously like to do but don't have the self control to do.

      • raven [he/him]
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        edit-2
        3 years ago

        You can criticize anyone at any time, even if they give you things and you accept them. That isn't hypocritical. You can criticize people for bad things they do even when they also do good things.

        What would you have done with a homeless shelter that doesn't accept anyone who isn't white, or male, or cis? You wouldn't want them to stop housing unhoused people, but obviously that cannot continue, right?

        The homeless shelter has the option to stop discriminating today and continue to provide shelter. These ideas are not at all in conflict.

        No ethical vegan on this site is telling anyone who has no choice in the matter to die because they can't afford meat, they're just telling you that almost everyone can afford rice. I know this to be true because my family of 3 lives on the paycheck of one disabled family member and I manage to make good vegan food every single day of the week, and no one ever goes hungry.

        • CoolYori [she/her]
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          3 years ago

          What would you have done with a homeless shelter that doesn’t accept anyone who isn’t white, or male, or cis?

          Do not compare me being trans with the choice of being vegan. Lets just get that out of the way before you continue replying to me.

          • raven [he/him]
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            edit-2
            3 years ago

            I didn't know that you were trans, but my point still stands. Pick a thing that the shelter would exclude people for, it doesn't matter what it is.

            My argument isn't about vegans being excluded, it's about the church deciding not to serve vegan food.

            • CoolYori [she/her]
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              edit-2
              3 years ago

              There is no choice in being trans, the skin color you were born with, and other things. That is what I am pointing out and its frustrating I need to do that. Being vegan is a situational choice for a person based on money and opportunity.

              • raven [he/him]
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                edit-2
                3 years ago

                I didn't say that. My argument is centered on the institution that is providing a service to disadvantaged people, which I clarified in an edit that I'm sure you didn't see because I made it just a moment before you replied.

                I was comparing your argument "I'll just go down to the church and tell them to stop serving food until it's all vegan" to a similar bad argument I hear frequently "activists shut down a women's shelter because it didn't accept trans women, therefore the activists hate women"

                • CoolYori [she/her]
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                  3 years ago

                  I was comparing your argument “I’ll just go down to the church and tell them to stop serving food until it’s all vegan” to a similar bad argument I hear frequently “activists shut down a women’s shelter because it didn’t accept trans women, therefore the activists hate women”

                  Here you are again comparing food choices to me being trans. Can you just fucking stop doing that?

                  • raven [he/him]
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                    edit-2
                    3 years ago

                    organization doing bad thing and good thing together "Organization should stop doing bad thing" "What? You want them to stop doing good thing until you get your way?"

                    It has nothing to do with you being trans, again I had no idea you were trans. I'm sorry that I worded it in that way in the first place.

                    Yes you can choose to stop being vegan and you cannot choose to stop being trans, that said it is also not okay to diminish veganism to "food choices".

                    • CoolYori [she/her]
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                      3 years ago

                      You are confusing my response to him as something that is in my main argument which its not.

                      Being vegan to me is a food choice and will never stop being one that is done out of convenience. That is my argument if you want me to speak it plainly.

                      • raven [he/him]
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                        edit-2
                        3 years ago

                        Well in that case you plainly don't understand what veganism is, and it really isn't up for debate because that just isn't what the word means.

                        If by "done out of convenience" you mean "done when it's a choice you have" then I agree, but if you look at the poorest cultures on earth you see that they generally don't eat much meat because meat and dairy and eggs are the luxury, not vegan food.

                        On an individual level eating meat is almost always a choice, and when it is not a choice no vegan on this site at least is going to fault you for it.

                        On an institutional level eating meat is always a choice and that is why in this case we are targeting the system that is forcing non-vegan foods on people, not the people it is being forced on, unwillingly or otherwise.

                        • CoolYori [she/her]
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                          3 years ago

                          If by “done out of convenience” you mean “done when it’s a choice you have” then I agree

                          Then we are in agreement! This is good we are no longer talking past each other. I know convenience is not a good word and I can admit that eating meat is luxury in some areas, but keeping chickens for eggs is really cheap for someone like my mom who did and still does. She uses the eggs to supplement her diet. Its done by a lot of families when I grew up who lived on church food.

                  • weenuk [she/her]
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                    3 years ago

                    Oh wow, just came across this. I'm sorry sister.

                  • sagarmatha [none/use name]
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                    3 years ago

                    it’s about institutional choices on who/what cause they’re helping, how far they’re willing to go to help, not about you or individuals, and it is sadly common that charities exclude from their services/do not have a good approach beyond 1 axis, see voluntourism or the salvation army