DAE mental health don’t real???! More child abuse now!
(now I'm a pain in the ass 40-year-old)
Damn, maybe if your parents got your issues diagnosed and treated you might have turned out differently
Just a total lack of imagination of how things could have been better for them and how they could be for the next generations. Reductive "it sucked for me, so it has to suck for everyone else, too" thinking. Distilled boomerism
Reductive "it sucked for me, so it has to suck for everyone else, too" thinking. Distilled boomerism
That one hits home for real
I spent my childhood undiagnosed because of this exact reason and you know how I turned out? Heavily traumatised and barely functioning with strong suicidal tendencies completely unable to integrate into adult life.
Also people like this refuse to acknowledge that the structure of the school system fucking sucks and is complete torture to anyone neurodivergent. Maybe forced obedience and rote memorization of bullshite isn't the optimal way to spend the first 18 years of our lives
Neurotypicals become Adolf Hitler the second neurodivergence is mentioned
My sister mentioned a while back that she wondered what my life would have been like if I'd gotten help when I was younger.
I wonder that about my siblings, too. But they're gone now. I'm the only survivor.
me with AuDHD because they thought you can't already be ADHD and also have autism
This is what is so hard about when I change insurance providers. Some of their systems go hey you cant be Austisic and ADHD choose one! Its like
As I child I longed to sit quietly in a room with no windows and do mindless repetitive work during the nicest days of the year. Because that is normal for a child.
Sounds like you’re not too enthusiastic. You must be physically abused to correct this deviation.
Why won’t my kids visit me?
Schools are great on paper, but holy shit is the US educational system due for an overhaul.
The way they're designed has to be subtly to make children grow up:
- Hating learning
- Used to spending their days on pointless busywork
Even if it was a middle-of-the-road succdem country, the US would kick so much ass if it was willing to invest in anything besides military or subsidizing porky.
Would be nice not to have ADHD but fantasize alot about about growing up in a communist world where:
- My attention span isn't being preyed upon and there are no commodities to fetishisize.
- Once I learn to read and with some guidence, I am left to work through text books at my own pace. I discover the joy of actually learning through patiently scanning the same paragraph three times some thirty years earlier.
Malnutrition, air pollution, and unclean water are quite harmful to childhood development, but we too rarely hear of discipline for those responsible
Am I letting down the children? No, it is the teachers who are wrong
notice how people only ever talk about not taking responsibility for your actions when they're mad that someone is putting a responsibility on them?
It’s all part of the stormfront “look how macho manly masculine dude guy man I am” making le epic tough decisions hivemind
Same people who post 5 page rants about how shoplifters aren’t being punished hard enough
My wife is a citizen and sees it ALL THE TIME. The American are fine, but they lack the kind of boundaries and discipline that is necessary to properly develop a decent person. Instead of providing those boundaries and discipline, the politicians just chase a diagnosis, usually exceptionalism. They get the American hopped up on a bunch of unnecessary wars, have some special trade agreement created for them, etc. All of that could have been avoided by simply BEING A GOOD PERSON.
I think it's a spin-off of the "nothing is your fault" culture we have created in the US. People are desperate to have an excuse for everything rather than accept the consequences of the choices they have made. In this case, it's "your plane isn't crashing into a tower because of imperialist blowback, it's because they hate Americans".
I could have ended up down that road. I was a pain in the ass patriot (now I'm a pain in the ass communist). Fortunately for me, my party resisted the growing trend to have me consume and manufacture consent. This was in the early 90s when this bullshit was just catching on. I'm sure the pressure is even stronger now. A steady diet of theory, goals, and political organizing kept me in line and I somehow made it through school without a crippling paper trail.
Ima keep it real with y'all. As someone diagnosed with autism, I probably would have preferred this over being a lab rat for all sorts of mental bullshit I'm still unlearning to this day. I had to grow up with being as separated from neurotypical students as far as my IEP allowed. Hell, one of the things was a one on one aide, which was literally just a babysitter that would follow you everywhere and just remind students that you're autistic btw, it would sure be a shame if you guys bullied him.
But hey, kids with ADHD are fine. Glad we both agree on that part, redditor.
I’ve got a lot of experience with “just discipline them”. I’m diagnosed too, and from my experience the only discipline I learned from this approach was the kind required not to kill these people as they went off on their adult tantrums because I didn’t shake so-and-sos hand. The only structure I learned was the kind that enabled me not to see my parents for 20 years. It was being punished for who I am because people who hate children decided to pursue a career working with children while telling me that my issues weren’t real and I just needed to stop being such a moron. I guess it was character-building to be borderline suicidal for the majority of my childhood though.
I watched the man who decided to "just discipline" me lose his wife, his job, and his entire life. It wasn't even his fault but as awful as it sounds it felt pretty fucking good watching his life crumble after the way he acted. The man paddled me every day for a year and laughed about it. Made fun of me in front of adults. My "disciplinary plan" was one lick with the paddle for each late assignment over the year. So if something was late by a day in October, I was getting hit for it in May. I was 13.
More than once I've thought of going to where he works now in one of my nicer suits to spit on him in front of his coworkers. He wasn't the reason for my depression, anxiety, and all of the other things that were wrong with me. But he did contribute to my poor mental health.
They say the best revenge is living well. It's working alright for me these days. And he's no longer in a position to do that to anyone else so I won't go spit on him today.
glad you made it through that comrade. Kids who have been made to feel suicidal throughout their childhood and survive are very literally braver than the troops
Weirdly enough I liked having the one on one aide. I was basically out of the running for friends in most of my classes anyway so having someone on my side that I could talk to and an adult that was basically guaranteed to step in when I was bullied was a positive IMO. A lot of special ed classes can get fucked though, disrespectful and treat you like an idiot who can't even remember your own name.
Seriously.
I shit you not, I had to be roped into what was essentially remedial classes solely because I was autistic. It didn't matter if I aced a test on the subject three days before. When I quizzed the remedial teacher why I'm here even if there is evidence both her time and my time are being wasted, she responded that I can teach the people who need to be there about the subject matter, and they can teach me social skills, even if they were the ones giving me shit for being "the weird kid".
US educational system everyone! If you're neurodivergent, you're seen as a hopeless blithering idiot, but also the perfect candidate to do a grown adult's job FOR THEM!
Sometimes I think like you do and that I might have dodged a bullet. I have both an ADHD and an autism diagnosis but I grew up in the 90s when autism was something completely different than it was now and ADHD was new. I was obviously struggling in grade school beyond just the coursework and my 6th grade teacher knew this, and requested they put me in special education. My parents took it to the school board and got them to put me back into standard classes. They just wanted me to be a "normal" child even tho they knew I was also struggling with the gender I was assigned. I lay awake at night and think what would have happened if I ended up in those classes instead of standard ones. Like could it have saved me from being thrown into a half way house at 17 by a judge that saw I had no human training, and was basically an animal? Who knows really. I dont think there is a real answer.
it's a real catch 22. fail all my classes cuz i'm not getting any help or spend a period every day with a "speech therapist" (my speech is fine? why is that your title??) who doesn't understand what i'm having trouble with and doesn't really care because they've got a degree in child development. and still fail the classes.
e: i don't really blame the "professionals" like i was an objectively Difficult Child, but every failure just kind of reinforced the idea that nothing is ever gonna get easier, no one gives a shit, and things are only getting harder.
I was gonna rant about the idea that we don't force kids to be accountable FOR LIFE for their actions and "choices" as literal children and how it's so insanely laughably wrong...
But, I'll rant about the other thing which delves deeper into an area liberals will absolutely never touch. Which is: why is it that some kids/adults have trouble conforming to this society?
"They're just bad apples and have to be disciplined back into shape. Like a bent piece of wood much better straightened to be used for woodworking."
Is the nutshell liberal take... across many cultures, to be honest. Not just American/western ones. It's always been seen as desirable for kids who obviously become adults to conform to society's boundaries and "be productive."
It would be kinda silly for me to sit here and basically say "abolish bedtime!" because clearly children need boundaries and all humans should be conditioned to live in a respectful way within a society. The problem isn't all that stuff so much, the problem is (goddamnit... I'm gonna say aren't I?) capitalism! Capitalism and industrialism forced people out of communal formations where they worked land and packed them tightly into urban areas and then demanded, upon threat of beatings and death, to perform repetitive activities over and over and over for 10, 12, 14, maybe more, hours a day to produce higher profits for capitalists. And schools were and are a natural starting place for that indoctrination into that mindset. This isn't breaking too much ground so far, I don't think. I mean Marx wrote about the middle part 150-ish years ago. I don't recall if he mentioned schools, but it's not much of a leap.
I think the "groundbreaking" part, quotes because it's not, is... none of this fucking shit has to be like this. Humans don't have to work 1/3 and more of their lives for another person's profits. That doesn't mean we have to or should go back to those rural farming ways either, but this idea of sitting a child in a seat for 8 hours a day with minimal breaks is... it's barbaric in my view. I remember as a kid losing my fucking mind. I've never been diagnosed with ADHD, and I'm not gonna speculate further on that front personally for myself, but I will say if I'm "neurotypical" in that capacity, I can't imagine the absolute torment kids who did have it must have suffered. Especially those whose parents thought like this person. And the question is always "why?" Why do we suffer so much. And it is absolutely suffering. I'm in my mid 30s now and I can still fully recall being like 15 years old coming up with fantastic shit in my head and trying to drift off into a nap during class because I was so goddamn bored out of my goddamn mind. And it was just that, repeated, for a solid 4 years, but I remember it going back even further. It feels dramatic, but I mean Christ, we're basically imprisoning children, ourselves, and obviously none of us think alike. Obviously all of us cope with that in various ways. It's just insane to think it's all done as a conditioning method for being able to withstand the torture later in life and also as a built-in daycare system. None of it has anything to do with actual teaching! It's fucking sadistic and just sad really.
I think I had some point there but now I'm just depressed remembering that time in my life and how worthless and boring it was. It doesn't have to be like this! (Another day of me losing my fucking mind)
this guy needs to never open his fucking mouth about adhd medication again.
A literal child is not doing what you want it to do. What to do?
Ask yourself, why is it not doing the thing? Is the child:
- Hungry?
- Tired?
- Is the environment too noisy?
- Have you earned the child's trust and respect?
- Is the instruction necessary?
- Can you change the instruction or the circumstances?
Or just decide to blame it on the child. Children are of course supposed to do everything you say because reasons.
people living in a society that so uniquely fetishizes personal responsibility that they literally cannot imagine that circumstances beyond one's control might constrain one's actions love to be like "no one wants to take personal responsibility anymore."
fucking prots.
I just want to set down with everybody that says stuff like and ruthlessly pick apart their life choices and tear them down in the same way, but I’ve tried that with my brother and there’s a thick mental shroud that insulates them as special and only bad things happen to them despite making all the right choices. It’s the weirdest internal contradiction he has and it shuts him right down when I probe at it.
These guys want to liquidate the undesirables. They’re just too much of a coward to admit they think Hitler was right when it comes to the neurodivergent. “Personal responsibility” is just a flimsy post hoc smokescreen to justify why they’re the ubermensch and the people they don’t like are the untermensch.
Currently struggling to get any of my meds for my very real diagnosed issues. I wish these people a very swift end.
I just hate that if you feel slighted by something, feel that something is working against you or you didn't make the optimal choice, the. consequences are all your fault.
Ah yes, because running executive function from fear is so much better for us than not fitting the normative, fully made-up mode of modern education. Because that is all that is happenimg in those of us who are "high functioning".
These people never actually seem to understand what adhd is, nor do they understand that their norms are all social constructs.
I am an adult audhd mom who decided to not bully my adhd kid to performing the way I had been. He can't do a lot of the things I can and this makes me so happy. It means he wasn't forced to run his entire existence from a place that only leads to burn out, shame and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
We already have "Pray the Gay Away", now get ready for "Beat the Neurodiversion Away."
