if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have
same goes double for the word guy.
My dear ex-friend used to call me dude all the time, literally all the time and I loved it so much. And then another former friend, who I blocked because of shit related to this, just had to say some shit to me about this, when I was in the middle of having a meltdown over a fight I was having with them (my ex-friend), and it should’ve been fairly obvious that I didn’t care that they called me dude.
(What made me block him in the end was that, he had met them, and because he’s known me for like 6 fucking years, I asked him to maybe try to talk to them. He didn’t want to because of something petty. He never took my feelings for them seriously. So fuck him.)
to be clear this is not saying no one can ever call a trans woman dude under any circumstances, it's just that if someone doesn't like being called something then you shouldn't call them that. and while some people use dude or guy gender neutrally, in my experience they're both gendered terms more often than not
Yeah, I get that. I just immediately commented what the title made me think of instead of actually reading the post because I’m an American.
you know, fair enough. i do that too sometimes