I understand what you mean when you say fucking isn't really gender affirming and that you are kind of accusing yourself of falling into old habits as opposed to working with a newer "feminine" thing. However, you might try to reflect on this and try to decouple the idea of "giving" and masculinity vs "taking" and femininity. You mention that you enjoy it and you're good at it so... Keep enjoying it! You'll just be a woman who's likes to fuck and is good at it.

Now, if you feel your partners are pushing you into that role or you only do it because it's familiar, then that's a different story.

Try not to overthink it and just enjoy the things you enjoy. And keep experimenting to see if you like other things more.