Saw love lies bleeding. Let me tell all of you, I have not had a greater experience of gender envy than witnessing Jackie on screen. She is so fucking pretty and she's so huge. That right there is my goal and always has been. I need to lift more though, I try to work out every day and the other problem is that she looks so femme while being so ripped where as when I'm ripped I look so masc. But fundamentally we have similar faces I just need more fat on mine, and it was kind of exciting seeing someone so gorgeous with my face shape and jaw line.

Idk. Maybe I should just say fuck it and get huge and keep taking estrogen and just hope it works out.