I hope everyone had a great week! Hang out. Chat. Talk about what's going on. Have fun :3

  • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    3 months ago

    This week I am practicing waving at people and saying hello, instead of nodding at people and saying hello, as a form of greeting at work. I am told nodding is a Dude Gesture, which must be a Command & Conquer reference else it's completely illogical.

    What other secretly gendered gestures and shit do I still have after so long? Honestly this whole "gender" thing seems kinda fuckin stupid sometimes.

    • regularassbitch [she/her]M
      ·
      3 months ago

      i spend a lot of time analyzing cis women's gender expression to figure out new cues i hadn't considered. i literally just stopped doing the nod like a year ago after transitioning for half a decade now

      • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]
        ·
        3 months ago

        I'm only stopping after nine years :) I have too much autism to do analysis lol, to neurotypicals I probably read like some kind of genderfreak, which tbh is sort of rad. Random people at my bluecollar job will use "they" for me totally unprompted.

        • regularassbitch [she/her]M
          ·
          3 months ago

          people would they/them me a whole bunch when i first integrated into this new group. i think cis people would rather short circuit than ask someone what they prefer

          • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]
            ·
            3 months ago

            To be completely fair, I once had a guy in an elevator ask me "hey so are you a guy or a girl?" and I was so floored I couldn't even be snarky. Cis people SUCK at asking, lol.

            I refuse to correct them until they get their shit together, Idk. They can wonder and be confused, fuck em. My gender is Fear Incarnate!

            • regularassbitch [she/her]M
              ·
              3 months ago

              one time i had spent 2 hours in front of a guy explicitly talking about my gender and he still came up afterwards and asked the same question. i had the same reaction you did, fuck them. read the fucking manual

    • OpheliaAzure [fae/faer]
      ·
      3 months ago

      WHAT no idea this was a thing I nod at everyone.

      Why do social conventions have to be so confusing, literally have to study people to interact in "appropriate" ways smh

    • good_girl [she/her, they/them]
      ·
      3 months ago

      I've been trying to force myself to stop the nod and failing. I really need to stop meeting people's eyes while i'm walking.

      • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]
        ·
        3 months ago

        Actually I realised today too, one of the reasons I'm such a Nodder is that it's a good excuse to look away from someone very fast

        Whereas if I wave at someone and say hello, uh where do my eyes go shit uhhh

        oh-shit

      • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]
        ·
        3 months ago

        This is true! It should not be, but the intersection of "traditional gender" norms and neurotypical social norms is an evil one!