even more bluntly: What were those completely and utterly ridiculous thoughts that you had in hindsight that make you wonder how on earth you ever even managed to convince yourself that you were cis? I'll start:
I remember browsing through a bunch of trans memes on reddit (already very cisgenderly) and I kept coming across ones that were some variation on stepping out of a time machine to meet your past self as a different gender. For maybe about 2 months until I realized that it really was true, I admitted to myself and two of my close friends who are both trans women that i would just not be surprised if I stepped out of the time machine from the future as a trans woman. my only thoughts on that were basically to laugh it and say "yeah that tracks". Somehow I could admit that I think it's totally plausible to be a trans girl in the future yet still be 100% cis
anyone have any other fun thoughts like that?
When I was a teenager, I had this weird idea of what a (straight) marriage is supposed to be. I had this elaborate cosmology about how people are both spiritually male and female but through the machination of the Demiurge, the physical form fooled people into thinking they only possess one gender, and it's through (straight) marriage and (straight) sex that the hidden repressed gender gets unlocked. So, a man spends the first 20 years of his life learning how to be a man and spends the rest of his life through guidance by his wife on how to be a woman and vice versa so that by the time they reached old age, both of them have transcended the gender binary into a gender unary through incorporation of both masculinity and femininity within themselves.
This is a really fun cosmology, and it has an interesting take on gender. I like it more that the christian idea of gender.
This is more or less exactly the ancient Greek idea of gender and there's early Christian sources like the Gospel of Thomas that are actually influenced by it and can be read as "we have to transcend the binary to get to the kingdom of heaven".