even more bluntly: What were those completely and utterly ridiculous thoughts that you had in hindsight that make you wonder how on earth you ever even managed to convince yourself that you were cis? I'll start:
I remember browsing through a bunch of trans memes on reddit (already very cisgenderly) and I kept coming across ones that were some variation on stepping out of a time machine to meet your past self as a different gender. For maybe about 2 months until I realized that it really was true, I admitted to myself and two of my close friends who are both trans women that i would just not be surprised if I stepped out of the time machine from the future as a trans woman. my only thoughts on that were basically to laugh it and say "yeah that tracks". Somehow I could admit that I think it's totally plausible to be a trans girl in the future yet still be 100% cis
anyone have any other fun thoughts like that?
Nah I just remembered something, I used to pray daily to Allah to somehow make me a girl
"man being a lesbian seems so nice. too bad i'm a boy. if only i were trans, then i could be a girl. oh well.
"man being a lesbian seems so nice
probably could have figured it out years before too if I knew just how common of a feeling that was. I knew I was bi since I was like 16, and I knew that romantic attraction a gender really changes depending on where it's coming from, but I always felt like WLW just beat out MLM romance and I was jealous that I couldn't do it. In retrospect, it is really funny to consider how I only really liked men in a straight way
Always playing as a woman in videogames, wearing women's underwear to bed because I like how it feels, laying fetal position in the shower and crying because I wished I could get pregnant, getting out of the shower and wrapping my towel around like a skirt and admiring it in the mirror, looking into hormone therapy and surgeries in a private browser tab even though no one else uses my computer. Normal guy stuff.
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Always being in the boys dorms during camp
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regularly fantasising how cool it would be to have a penis
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wearing a fake moustache at every dress up event
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copying the bad posture of the boys from my class
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"If I could take a pill and change genders for a day, I would do that just for fun"
"I wish I was born a girl so then I could be a transguy"
"I wish I was trans but I like my dick too much"
Me finding out I can just keep my dick if I want to
"I wish I was born a girl so then I could be a transguy"
Other people think that too?!
If you fantasize about being trans than, perhaps, you may be trans
I wish someone had told me this
I think it's about exploring the concept of being trans in a "safe" entirely theoretical way
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
gallery full of faceapp screenshots 7 years before I started E
-fantasizing a lot about what if I was a girl in a next life -wishing I had an older sister or girl friend that would make me to crossdress -always having a list of female names ready to go for some reason -wishing my puberty failed so I wouldn't get the typical male puberty development
Buying women's underwear as soon as you had you're own place and sometimes just sitting around wearing it is pretty cis right?
Just a normal guy with no non binary or gender fluid thoughts at all. Why'd you think that
Yeah, man. Just watching TV and whenever a character cross dresses as a haha funny joke you start blushing like a bro. Like a real guy. A proper dude. King shit.
Just sitting here blushing in my cute underwear like a fuckin dude ya know
Teenage me reading about some Ranma 1/2 game for Super Famicom in an EGM column back in 1993 or 94 and seeing the explanation that the protagonist in the anime turns into a girl whenever he gets splashed with water, and thinking, "huh, shit; I'd just carry a Super Soaker and hose myself down every time it wore off."
Also, doing extensive research and taking a carefully crafted cocktail of herbal supplements in an attempt to grow breasts based on information gleaned from an extremely brainwormed forum is a totally cishet thing to do, right?
Saying shit like “I don’t mind being a guy, but if I got magically transformed into a girl I’d totally be okay with it”
Having long hair since I was about I think 8? And using it to cover my face because I didn’t like they way it looked
When I was very little I asked my mom when we were clothes shopping if I could try on a dress, that didn’t go well
Playing as a girl in Terraria and feeling both happy and very guilty about to the point where I asked my sister if it was okay for me to do that (thankfully she was nice about it and said yeah)
there was always something slightly irritating to me about the idea of there being women's bathrooms and women's lockerrooms because as a cis man unless i was the janitor or something, there was literally zero reason i ever had to go inside there. there's something that taunted me about there being this room that exists in a building that only some people could go into but not me. i didn't feel like i cared what was in there (typing that out, i think i actually did) but like, "room i couldn't go into" always rubbed me the wrong way.
A friend and I visited a few girl's locker room or restrooms back in high school when they weren't being used and we weren't janitors, just explorers.
Most recent things:
Telling my brother "If I was raised today, I'd probably identify as NB". Not as an insult or suggesting it was just a trend either, but rather celebrating the shift. This one is cheating though because my egg was actually starting to crack at this point though, so the meaning was more "I think I might be NB, but my brain refuses to accept that label now, so just give it a week for processing time".
Saying something like "I don't identify as a man, but I'm not trans so I guess I'm technically cis". I think at this point the reason I didn't think I was trans was largely because I hadn't always known I was trans and don't really understand NB options and still really only knew of that stereotype
edit: realized I accidentally made this way too long so ignore the rest
Wanting to use they/them pronoun tag on twitch, but refusing to download the pronoun add-on and doing that because I thought it would somehow would be insulting to real trans people (for anyone in a similar circumstances: even cis people can change their pronouns without being insulting. Just do it). I also regularly watched trans creators and just thought trans women were cooler.
Going without deodorant because the store was out of stock of the vegan stick I usually got that didn't have a gender label and instead only had the one labeled for men solely because of that label (and didn't get a different brand because it was the only vegan one I knew of off the top my head).
During college: Looking up
excusestotally normal reasons for a cis man to get an orchi. I assumed I just had internalized shame related to sexuality that I was somehow secretly unaware of. I also did find my libido annoying, but chemical means of reducing that weren't of interest in the least.Sexual fantasies were regularly gender swapped compared to my assumed gender. For my brother, this was the thing he personally thought was the least cis sign.
I finally decided to make a girl character in Pokemon for at least the first time since middle school (when I started hanging out with a friend on the bus whom I played regularly with). Figured it would at least be a while till he found out. Decided to just feminize my name for the character and suddenly I cared about characters appear, which I never had before when playing as guys. My friend did tease me about the name when he eventually found out.
High school:
I was required to self-ID as a crossdresser one day for a school assignment. Was meant to be a bit of a joke (see next item), but that felt like it was a little too close to the truth people didn't know about.
For one org, there was a hazing tradition where new members had to wear costumes all that that an older student picked for them. I was happy when mine was choosing women's clothes, but they specifically went old-lady's clothes and I wished I'd have had an excuse to wear something cuter.
Middle school (context: didn't really know what trans was back then... Learned like the basics of binary trans by the end of high school):
Felt the need to see how my sisters bra was in me (she's smaller so didn't expect to actually be able to put it in) while she was presumably taking a bath. She still has to leave the bathroom to get something from her room, so I was caught. Think this experience made me a lot more repressed, but I can't even really remember what people's reaction was since I was too caught up in my own embarrassment. I kinda feel like my mom probably just told me not to do that and she'd get me my own if that's what I wanted, but I was too caught up in my own thoughts to listen and I had no clue why I would want that anyways.
Would wake up sad magic wasn't real because I would never wake up in a female body from time to time and would have dreams about going to the women's bathroom and being worried about getting caught regularly.
At a photo machine that had lots of gimmicky options (well before things like phone apps had filters), one was putting your face on like a bikini model. For some reason that option really appealed to me, but I didn't want others to know? So despite having another photo that we paid for that we didn't know what we wanted to do with, I didn't. And then later I went back and paid again solely to get that.
Elementary/younger:
Generic stereotypical trans fem things like playing princess dress up, playing with Barbies with my sister, watching sailor moon.
Somehow I could admit that I think it's totally plausible to be a trans girl in the future yet still be 100% cis
One of my favorite sci-fi themes is when the mechanism of time travel is used to explore characters' refusal to accept their own selves. Dark (2019) is a very good show about that theme, and it has some trans undetones so I'd recommend it!
Anyway, sadly I don't have anything to contribute to the thread outside of that.
Here's a decent, albeit bittersweet, short manga that has a neat take on the time travel question that I really enjoyed after it was recommended here on hexbear.
i fucking hated myself during my teenage years, my most normal "very cis actually" thought was that i would love to volunteer for some project where they'd turn my brain into a computer and i'd just be a formless intelligence inside a computer who would use a synthetic lady voice to converse with all the scientists and appear on a hologram pedestal in feminine forms like all the AIs do in sci-fi
