I have spent my entire life analyzing how I need to act as a guy and now I'm really struggling to understand where the boundaries are and what's expected of me.
Interesting, I’ve personally never tried to conform or seem neurotypical, but I think I can tell other people’s silly gender roles?
I didn't know some no op trans women would want their genitals referred to as a clit
I think it pretty much functions as such at a certain point? People don’t want to be associated with labels used primarily by the “opposite” gender. Sex and gender are intertwined social phenomena and it can feel “cis-er” using certain terms.
Can I say I have a stupid girl brain in a jokey kind of way?
People generally don’t look down on people who self deprecate if it’s not excessive. Its fine.
Literally what is up with calling people girls vs women.
This one I get, at least in a personal way. Idk if it’s the ADHD or just being a minor or living in this society, but I’m scared of getting older and don’t like the words “woman” and “man.” They also sound bad and I don’t like gender. I like the sound of “girl” a lot better. It’s a cute word. It makes one feel young and like people care about thon.
I'm not sure if its quite trying to conform, I just don't want to accidentally upset someone. If I'm going to break a norm/expectation I'd like to know that so I can have an idea of what I'm doing and have a reason for it. I'm struggling to explain myself, sorry.
Maybe? At least for some people? I don't know I'm pre hrt I don't know anything. I guess that makes sense, especially if you've been on hrt for a while.
Okay, I'm glad that's how people would see it. I was worried maybe people would see that as being like misogynistic? Which isn't how I mean it at all but still
I know! Oh my god yes! I love the word girl! I just worry, again, that people might see that as being misogynistic or something. I feel like I've heard women my age complain about being called girls, but also other women calling themselves girls, and I love the word, but It is just confusing.
And what makes this all worse is the thought of there being more like these that I haven't thought of and maybe upsetting someone. I feel like I'm starting from scratch in some ways, like I've seen how people react to men (and me as a man) doing certain things but how will they react to me as a woman doing those things. How do you even be a woman. and then it obviously also gets wrapped up into fears of transphobia and people not seeing me as a woman, so what things can a cis woman get away with that I as a trans woman couldn't, and my god this is all so much
Maybe when I think of these things I should just post them here.
It’s ok, I’m not one to talk, but you’re overthinking it. Since you care to be perceived well, you probably will [ at least eventually]. I don’t know what it’s like to be a woman and I don’t know what I want to be, but we’re all just figuring things out as we go.
I guess that makes sense, especially if you've been on hrt for a while.
I know a girl who is pre HRT and calls that part her clit when she talks about herself and a girldick when talking about mine, just because that's the labels we're using for ourselves and are comfortable with. There's no universal nomenclature for this stuff, people go with different terms depending on what they're comfortable with and self ID just comes first. Labels aren't universal. We create this language for ourselves, to talk about things cissies have no words for, and want us to have no words for, and that means the use of queer labels is always something highly personal and subjective. In case of doubt, it's better to simply ask.
It kind of hurts me that I'm a trans person who doesn't get this.
We create this language for ourselves, to talk about things cissies have no words for, and want us to have no words for, and that means the use of queer labels is always something highly personal and subjective.
Interesting, I’ve personally never tried to conform or seem neurotypical, but I think I can tell other people’s silly gender roles?
I think it pretty much functions as such at a certain point? People don’t want to be associated with labels used primarily by the “opposite” gender. Sex and gender are intertwined social phenomena and it can feel “cis-er” using certain terms.
People generally don’t look down on people who self deprecate if it’s not excessive. Its fine.
This one I get, at least in a personal way. Idk if it’s the ADHD or just being a minor or living in this society, but I’m scared of getting older and don’t like the words “woman” and “man.” They also sound bad and I don’t like gender. I like the sound of “girl” a lot better. It’s a cute word. It makes one feel young and like people care about thon.
I'm not sure if its quite trying to conform, I just don't want to accidentally upset someone. If I'm going to break a norm/expectation I'd like to know that so I can have an idea of what I'm doing and have a reason for it. I'm struggling to explain myself, sorry.
Maybe? At least for some people? I don't know I'm pre hrt I don't know anything. I guess that makes sense, especially if you've been on hrt for a while.
Okay, I'm glad that's how people would see it. I was worried maybe people would see that as being like misogynistic? Which isn't how I mean it at all but still
I know! Oh my god yes! I love the word girl! I just worry, again, that people might see that as being misogynistic or something. I feel like I've heard women my age complain about being called girls, but also other women calling themselves girls, and I love the word, but
It is just confusing.
And what makes this all worse is the thought of there being more like these that I haven't thought of and maybe upsetting someone. I feel like I'm starting from scratch in some ways, like I've seen how people react to men (and me as a man) doing certain things but how will they react to me as a woman doing those things. How do you even be a woman.
and then it obviously also gets wrapped up into fears of transphobia and people not seeing me as a woman, so what things can a cis woman get away with that I as a trans woman couldn't, and my god this is all so muchMaybe when I think of these things I should just post them here.
It’s ok, I’m not one to talk, but you’re overthinking it. Since you care to be perceived well, you probably will [ at least eventually]. I don’t know what it’s like to be a woman and I don’t know what I want to be, but we’re all just figuring things out as we go.
I know a girl who is pre HRT and calls that part her clit when she talks about herself and a girldick when talking about mine, just because that's the labels we're using for ourselves and are comfortable with. There's no universal nomenclature for this stuff, people go with different terms depending on what they're comfortable with and self ID just comes first. Labels aren't universal. We create this language for ourselves, to talk about things cissies have no words for, and want us to have no words for, and that means the use of queer labels is always something highly personal and subjective. In case of doubt, it's better to simply ask.
It kind of hurts me that I'm a trans person who doesn't get this.
This is very touching to me
No, just do what makes u feel good instead.