cat-trans

As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

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    • imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her]
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      for your own wellbeing i am begging you never to go there again. yes, you were doing some of the doomer posting I noticed. people are pushing back on what you're saying because they care about you and want you to get better and stop this psychological self-harm through posting, it's not pointless scolding.

      • Tomboymoder [she/her, pup/pup's]
        ·
        5 months ago

        I honestly just don't think I can jive with a trans space where you can't even talk about the full experience of being trans including the bad without being accused of "ruining the vibes or whatever" or where you are just some unhealthy misguided moron if you want to pass and have to be reeducated.

        • imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her]
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          edit-2
          5 months ago

          you are just putting words in my mouth now as well as other comrades, which I don't appreciate. I am sorry for the indirect (which i admit I did do in my first paragraph. later I earnestly stated I was not talking about you when I spoke about passing) but frankly I didn't say any of that shit about you. I urge you to log off and do something more fulfilling with your time for a while until you're feeling better. you were advised to log off for being overly negative hours ago and you're still trawling the thread picking fights. fwiw you were doing a lot more than just illuminating the bad parts of being trans, you were acting combative and being mean to other users in response to people stating uncontroversial truths such as "cis women sometimes get misgendered". that aside, if what you want to do is wallow in negativity and not have anyone push back on that I think most would agree this isn't the place, yeah.

          • Tomboymoder [she/her, pup/pup's]
            ·
            5 months ago

            if you guys wanna wallow in positivity and not have anyone push back then yeah maybe this isn't the place for me.

            • imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her]
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              edit-2
              5 months ago

              I personally disagree with the implication that there's an enforced "toxic positivity" or whatever on here. negative and sensitive topics are discussed every mega. respectfully I feel you took it to an unacceptable level by picking fights with people trying to make you feel better and refusing to take anything said in response to you on board as a matter of course, even pushing back against simple truths. i really don't mean to sound cruel but it's a fair summation that you were spreading tttt brainworms. the types of trans spaces I like to be in are ones where that shit doesn't fly.

            • kristina [she/her]M
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              edit-2
              5 months ago

              Its not about 'wallowing in positivity', some people are in genuinely good spots and improving despite the awful things in this country. Its important to use spoiler tags properly so that these people don't get messed up, because this state can be tenuous. Its not 'realist' to be constantly negative, all it does is hurt yourself. How you can improve is material change and community, which are IRL things. If you need help with either of those, please message me, I have a big network I can draw on.

              spoiler

              And just to point out, I've been through some terrible, terrible things. But I can feel happy now. A lot of this is healing over time, being deeply entwined with my local trans community, and building a found family. I've been on the edge more times than I can count. Healing is a slow fucking process, and its very important to be respectful of everyone's current stage in healing.

        • EllenKelly [comrade/them]M
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          edit-2
          5 months ago

          You dont have to fake it til you make it, you just need to consider how what you poat affects other people, and liberally use the spoiler tag

          Tap for spoiler

          You can be as sad as you like in the spoliers, people are still going to read it

          i'm not going to pretend Im positive, like ever

          i know theres a few new people around, i encourage everyone to have a look over the https://hexbear.net/code_of_conduct

        • magi [null/void]M
          ·
          5 months ago

          There are people here who do understand and also care about you and don't want you to go too far, but you have to respect others in the space. Try to take a break if you can and come back when your head clears a bit. Stay offline or do some self care or something until you feel a bit better don't go back to 4ts, you know it's not good there, you can come back and talk about things with a level head, just try to calm down and not make snap judgements because you're upset.

        • Starlet [she/her, it/its]
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          edit-2
          5 months ago

          you were clearly correct. I think people here just have very different worms than you do

          • ashinadash [she/her]
            ·
            5 months ago

            "Clearly correct" is when you just say the same thing over and over and then call people delusional. It's wrong.

            • Starlet [she/her, it/its]
              ·
              5 months ago

              just say the same thing over and over

              Is something less true if it's repeated? I don't understand your point. I don't even think she was being particularly repetitive either

                • Starlet [she/her, it/its]
                  ·
                  5 months ago

                  what is the innate womanness that cis women have which allows them to just WAKE UP THAT WAY that rans women do not?

                  There is no such thing as "innate womanness," but obviously very few cis women put effort into appearing female. That is simply how their bodies and mannerisms will be viewed by others by in their default state. It's correct to say that most cis women have to put effort into appearances, but the vast majority of those that don't will still be seen as female 99% of the time. You're trying to convince her that there's an equivalency between this and what she experiences when there's not. Cis women don't put effort into "being girls," which is what her comment was about.

                  She said that her sisters still effortlessly pass as women after waking up, which is obviously correct, and someone said this was "a couple steps away from doing phrenology," which is absolutely absurd. It's not a fair comparison at all, and she was at least more correct to recognize this than to think that she's seen the same way as her sisters

                  • ashinadash [she/her]
                    ·
                    5 months ago

                    obviously very few cis women put effort into appearing female

                    thonk Right, so when cis women shave their faces, shave their bodies, put on makeup, have their hair done in flattering ways, wear clothes that flatter their figure... they aren't putting effort into appearing female? That's not what that is? So the only differences are a few mannerisms [citation needed] and bodies, both of which trans women can easily affect too? That's what HRT is for. Fwiw I haven't made any mannerism changes really. Trans women can also still be gendered correctly whilst not putting in a ton of effort. There is no difference there. We all pass as female the same way. (By bowing to cisnormativity and unrealistic beauty standards)

                    You dodged the question, though - I'm interested in what you see as the essential woman-ness of her sisters that she lacks. interviewer

    • AcidSmiley [she/her]
      ·
      5 months ago

      Please don't do that to yourself, you genuinely deserve better than that cat-trans