WE BEAT THE NEWS MEGA
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I know it's really awkward sometimes when cis dorks get overly effusive, but I mean if they're respecting your gender & presentation anyway it's pretty fine right?
It does occur to me though, if cis people really be doing this, there's a much better than 0 chance that they've used whatever their gender criteria is to "clock as trans" another cis person and do the same. Lmao.
It could be read as respecting or respectful, but I feel like it could also be read as patronizing, y’know?
Cis people are dorky about it, I remember doing the same.
okay maybe I'm not the best exampleBut I really think they mean well.Uh I guess it's possible, I like to think people giving compliments aren't doing it to be shitty though y'know? I mean cis people are losers, I doubt that's their intent though..
I don’t think it’s them being purposefully shitty really, I think they do have good intentions, but it’s like the good intentions you have when you let your little cousin win at a game.
Well if you think every cis person views you that way, I guess... But it could just as easily be like, they can tell you're nervous as fuck and think you could use it? Or even: they just genuinely mean what they say? Even with a ton of RSD and distrust of neurotypicals I don't see a reason to secondguess them on this.
Gonna be honest I do have a very negative view on how cis people conceptualize trans people and transness.
I don't think most of them actually get it and I don't think most of them truly see us as women.
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bite me
She is ultimately correct here, though maybe she could have eased into it better. I say this all from a place of compassion, I don't want to argue with you or set you off.
internalized transphobia discussion
Think for a moment, and imagine you said all the things you say about yourself to another trans person. Would it be transphobic? If you said 'you only pass because cis people pity you' to another trans person, you would rightly be called transphobic, maybe even a gaslighter. The point of calling it out is that effectively by having such bad internalized transphobia, it will inevitably seep out into your interactions with other trans people. Its important to tackle this issue head on within yourself, not only for your own mental wellbeing but also for the wellbeing of those around you. AcidSmiley is ultimately on your side here, she clearly wants you to get better and feel better.
I'm sure many of them probably don't, realistically, because we live in a world of transphobic fuckers. But why would they then go out of their way to compliment you if they think this?
That doesn't make a ton of sense to me.
alleged brainworms
because that can manifest in ways from active hostility and hatefulness to pity depending on the person.
conservatives want us dead, but a lot of the times it feels like liberals only accept us as a third gender that makes them good people for being nice to.
No, I think that's silly actually. Again, sure there might be cis people with stupid or shitty views but this seems like a lot to extrapolate just because someone gave you a compliment.
The chain of logic here would have to be "liberal does not see me as woman and doesn't understand" -> "liberal spots me in public and thinks I am a lesser, third gender and wants brownie points" (from who?) -> "liberal gives me a compliment" and I just do not see that when the plainer answer is "somebody thought my top was cute". Like, you do not even know if they clocked you, so this is all a really bad driving-yourself-nuts-because- what-if scenario anyway. I don't think it's worth fussing over when the end result is "nice compliment" is all.