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  • Hestia [she/her, love/loves]M
    ·
    6 months ago

    Been talking to this girl who's pretty cool, and while I'm just aiming to be friends ATM, there's an inkling of a crush. But I don't know if it's even fair to pursue a relationship with someone when my best friend will always be my highest priority in life. I already have someone I want to grow old with, and while she's not capable of reciprocating romantic feelings, I'm okay with that.

    • TerminalEncounter [she/her]
      ·
      6 months ago

      I think your best friend should probably understand and want you to date, unless said best friend was also somehow your romantic/aro partner in some way

      • Hestia [she/her, love/loves]M
        ·
        6 months ago

        We dated for a bit in the past and then she realized she's aro/ace. I kinda had a feeling she was. Nothing really physical happened between us other than sleeping in the same bed and cuddling. And it became apparent she wasn't the biggest fan of physical contact in general.

        I brought up the fact I've been hanging out with someone who I might consider dating at some point with her and I could tell she was bothered by it and was tearing up a bit. She said it was alienating, so I changed the topic.

        Emotionally, I already see her as a partner, but I've been giving her space to figure out what kind of dynamic she wants. Does she want to remain as friends? Or does she want an aromantic partner?

        • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
          ·
          6 months ago

          I could tell she was bothered by it and was tearing up a bit. She said it was alienating, so I changed the topic.

          Emotionally, I already see her as a partner, but I've been giving her space to figure out what kind of dynamic she wants. Does she want to remain as friends? Or does she want an aromantic partner?

          Even if you don't want to date or being sexually intimate with someone, it can still be hard to hide the reaction of finding out that kind of information about someone whom you sorta like that way, even if you ultimately are happy to see them with someone else.

          Hopefully y'all can find a balance that works for both of you.

          • Hestia [she/her, love/loves]M
            ·
            6 months ago

            Yeah, hopefully. I doubt I'll ever find someone else who can understand me as well as she does. And I'd like to think I understand her better than anyone else.