Had a great day last Friday and Saturday morning was awesome too. Then I went to the beach in a conservative neighborhood and have felt like the bearded trans woman ever since.

Monday I took out a $5k loan to get the face and pits lasered. Was already $5k in on my credit card. Another $50k in student loans for a degree that probably won't help me find gainful employment with my physical health anyway. And have no idea how to restart my disability application in a way that will get it approved. I already tried getting on disability once, it was denied. I appealed, it was denied again but I never received the notice. My intention was to appeal the second one but by the time I found out, it was too late. I really need a lawyers help but finding one that does SSI (rather than SSDI) has been difficult.

Spent some time on job boards this morning. Pretty much everything is corporate now and with my shit resume from three decades of health problems, coupled with my current health, it didn't leave me feeling any optimism.

Plus, I have other health stuff that needs to be addressed. My teeth. Glasses. I don't know where I'm going to find the time, energy, or resources to take care of those.

Feeling overwhelmed and like giving up.