SALUTE
I have barely watched Breaking Bad
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Let's have another good week everyone 
Woah what the fuck, I am genuinely kind of blown away by this second paragraph. Granted my brain is slurry atm, but... I'm not really an rp person I guess, it sure as hell doesn't pop up for me in games, maybe it's an autism thing but that level of participation and creation in the narrative that you describe is entirely new to me, what the fuck.
Also I'm drunk from gabapentin and Idk if I like it pls help.
Yeah I get that, it's so different from the rest of their catalog I can understand the disappointment. I fell in love with it hard though.
It's not just rp all the time, sometimes it's just paying attention to the things that happen and creating memories from it. In my Fire Emblem replays I always do ironmans because they create stories about that unit who cheated death or how my favourite got absolutely curbstomped early or how that one unit I usually don't think about became the best one on my team. My rp just fills in the blanks between those and the written narrative. It also seems like something a bit particular to me, maybe because I'm just inherently very creative-minded.
Oh I'm sorry to hear that! I can't really think of anything that would help other than just continuing to message you so you stay engaged and don't feel more ill if that might help.
I could maybe have liked it, I just couldn't play it Idk. Loved Transistor and bounced off Pyre...
Well yeah of course, and that's cool as well, I do that one a lil. Ironman tactics game runs are cool... I guess this kind of goes into why I seem to relate weirdly to media, I guess? I have never filled in the blanks, or rarely. If something has too many stupid blanks I consider it utterly inadequate, which is the loser critic thing to do but wow, I really lost the creative flame altogether. This kinda sucks. That's why it stuck out to me I guess, as early as your AC1 posting.
It's okay, thanks and sorry for dumping that, just a thing I guess, finna go find wifey.
Don't worry about it, I hope you feel better soon 💜
And I don't think that sucks or is weird, it's just a different way of engaging with stuff. It's really cool how thoroughly into the reeds you often get with your interests, like the big Tactics Ogre post you had made. I can do a bit of that but to nowhere near the same extent and depth and so it's cool to know someone who can sometimes. We're just valuing different things in different ways in our art.
Thank you ✨
Uh I guess, my brain doesn't feel like it wants to actively do creating with any media though. Despite being a fiction simp I have basically never thought to write fanfic, because Idk the urge just isn't there. My brain does not fill in gaps. It feels clinical I guess. I also like that I have so much autism that I just let a game eat me for two months or whatever, but considering that my favourite mode of feeling from stories is "wistful and gay" I wish I was a little more elastic on the fronts you are, y'know? It's one of those things Idk.
Wistful and gay is a good emotion though, very nice and fun. If it makes you feel better, I used to not really feel like this at all with art. I literally never "related" to a character until I was 16 or so. And it took me a long time to shift from the nerdy encyclopedic way of engaging with media to this very emotional one. So it can shift a lot. I am also just a very emotional person in general, I cry with my irl friends like once every month just because I feel so emotional from being with them sometimes. And I mean you do obviously feel other things from stories, like when you read something you hate and feel angry about it, or the discomfort you had with a lot of Paul. These are both emotions which I count when considering art that impacts me. A lot of my shift in engagement came from simply recontextualising and redefining vague things into feelings. I'm probably making this worse though, sorry. Gonna head to sleep now, I do hope you feel better soon, being drunky like that must suck rn.
I fuckin exist to be gay and wistful, it is my life's goal. Me staring at my fictional gays and saying "MAN", you know?
That shift you describe is fascinating though. Same same, Orange Book shattered the analytical cold removed approach for me. I realised I was only relating to media and stories from a remove, and so a large part of why I search out emotionally powerful gay shit is because I really relish FEELING BIG THINGS from stuff!! Two of the books in my top 5 are ones that made me cry a lil!!
Wow... she has friends irl, so cool... having friends you can do that with...
Yeah I do relish that feeling stuff, I wouldn't read Paul again but it was uh stimulating emotionally, intellectually-feely. Good stuff I think. If I'm autopilot no-feelings-mode through something, it has failed.
Okay stop being me please! This is a She Jus Like Me Fr Fr!!! You haven't made it worse, I really appreciate the chatter, thank you and get some good sleep ✨
:waow-based:
Yeah I can see why, Nevada is a very intense little thing. For me it was Fata Morgana, it genuinely fucked me up and transed my gender. But I already mentioned that to you so I won't go into more detail with it.
:aubrey-cry-2: I would totally bawl my eyes out if I met you irl ngl.
Okay good to know my weirdo brain is like your weirdo brain a bit then lmao. Tbh I'm still figuring some of these out, feeling scared is something that I'm only just now starting to get a sense for, or at least I'm starting to notice more places I feel that way. Particularly in regards to relationships. I guess it could be described as anxiety too but I feel like these cases are a step removed from that, idk.
And I'm glad you appreciated it and yes it was a good sleep!
Yeah Ikr, I thank orange book for setting me on the path of queers in fiction, truly critical work
Okay fuck, now I have to ask you about this, uh when does Fata Morgana get good, pls. I have been dorking around with this Mell guy for like two hours and all I can think is " 
Holy fuck when does the vampire lady EAT THIS FUCKIN GUY?!?" Ugh I lost the will, my save and the game are still on my Vita but I was like, blegh...
Fuck yeah weirdo brains!!!
Yea and I relish this too, figuring out your feelings and stuff is pretty cool ngl. Maybe less so in relationship terms? But it feels like understanding yourself.... feeling scared in the context of relationships though
is that some bad stuff? Dare I ask?
Fuck yeah, good sleep