Children of Time is a 2015 science fiction novel by Adrian Tchaikovsky.
In the distant future, humanity seeks to create new habitats for itself on distant planets, terraforming them and seeding them with life. Dr. Avrana Kern is heading one such project, orbiting the tentatively named "Kern's World", where the plan is to release monkeys 
infected with a nanovirus that will accelerate their evolution. Through an act of sabotage from an anti-technology group that has also destroyed much of Earth, the monkeys are never released, and the virus instead infects a species of spider, Portia labiata. The book follows the evolution of the spiders and their eventual civilisation, as well as a remnant of humanity that fled to Kern's World hoping to find paradise.
also children of ruin and children of memory, the sequels, are really good
Join our public Matrix server! https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat
As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
mental health, social isolation sad shit, avpd probably
I really gotta get my shit together mentally and get over my "what if it doesn't go well" woe is me bullshit and reach out to my old best friend who might be the (platonic?) love of my life or soulmate or something
I miss this person so fucking much and have for years now and at some point when shit got really bad for me when covid got serious here, I just completely shut down and isolated and retreated inward mentally and have just started tiptoeing back to being "myself" but I've thought of this friend pretty much constantly since then and I know reconnecting with them would be like, the single best thing I could do for myself but it's still so scary and daunting after all this time
I thought by now I'd finally be, like, me, fully, and could reconnect as a better version of the person they loved, but I feel more weird and fucked up and unhappy with myself now than I did when we were super close irl and part of what's been preventing me from reaching back out is that feeling of shame
I wish I could be better at the very least so they could feel better about me instead of being concerned or upset at what a mess I am
Idk sorry I'm really emotional tonight