Children of Time is a 2015 science fiction novel by Adrian Tchaikovsky.
In the distant future, humanity seeks to create new habitats for itself on distant planets, terraforming them and seeding them with life. Dr. Avrana Kern is heading one such project, orbiting the tentatively named "Kern's World", where the plan is to release monkeys 
infected with a nanovirus that will accelerate their evolution. Through an act of sabotage from an anti-technology group that has also destroyed much of Earth, the monkeys are never released, and the virus instead infects a species of spider, Portia labiata. The book follows the evolution of the spiders and their eventual civilisation, as well as a remnant of humanity that fled to Kern's World hoping to find paradise.
also children of ruin and children of memory, the sequels, are really good
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hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!
the list as it stands:
Yukiko (1/13 - 1/19) oscardejarjayes* (1/20 - 1/26) SwitchyandWitchy* (1/27 - 2/2) SILLY BEAN@lemmygrad.ml* (2/3 - 2/9) AshenWolf* (2/10 - 2/16) GayTuckerCarlson* (2/17 - 2/23) EstraDoll (3/2 - 3/8) * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters
Whole album’s immaculate. I have yet to investigate the rest of the catalog.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
my ex loves them so I've had some exposure but never really got into them. i like what I've heard though
i thought i was really gonna miss having gargantuan pockets when i moved to more femme clothing, but honestly i love having a silly little handbag so much.
depression/dysphoria/dooming
I've been crying all day. It hurts so much. I could barely talk earlier. So dysphoric about my voice. Just in general too.
I keep doing worse and worse. I've been "trying" (half assed and lazily) to get my shit together for years. Haven't been able to. I'm doing worse now. So how am I going to be able to now when I couldn't then.
I can't start hrt because I can't get better. I can't get better because I'm trapped in a disgusting man body with a disgusting man voice. There's nothing to do. I can't force myself to get better. To work on myself, to voice train, none of it. I can't. I never really could. Not quitting if I never tried.
I have failed life. So many things I will never get to see or experience. Because I'm a failure. All evidence points to me just being born wrong. Defective. Whatever ig. What makes a person turn out like this. I can't blame my parents. They tried. I wish I tried harder. Whatever. Hurts too much. What a shame. Not good enough to even try. I am such a disgusting waste of life. I wish I could give this to someone else.
si
Can't believe I have to do it myself. god I wish I'd just die without having to do it myself. I don't want to. I'll just keep putting it off. Like I have so far.
Just wanted to say you're not alone, I always upvote your posts when I see them but I don't always reply because I don't know what to say since I struggle many of the same thoughts and feelings as well.
I can't start hrt because I can't get better
CW: alcoholism
I feel this so much, I might be able to start HRT soon but the closer I get to the day where they do blood tests to make sure my health is in order, the more I feel like my health is too fucked from years of general neglect and alcoholism. I tried to quit a while back, and managed a little over a month sober, but relapsed in November. I'm trying to commit to staying sober until then (I've at least managed to have some sober days in the last couple weeks, as opposed to near zero for most of my adult life), but I know it's too little, too late.
spoiler
Firstly, in terms of your health, you should of course quit and get sober and I doubt I even need to say it. If you need extra help you should seek it out, quitting can be difficult. Alcohol is quite harsh on a number of your organs and can give you cancer (which is much underestimated in the general population). If you're drinking enough a day, you may need medical observation to make sure you get through withdrawals okay. How much depends on your genetics and other factors, but generally if you're drinking first thing when you wake up and continuing through out the day that's about where you'd need medical observation. It sounds like you aren't drinking that much because you've been able to have sober days and even a sober month (congrats for that!)
The tests they'd be doing would be about your testosterone levels, your estrogen levels, and your electrolytes if the plan is to start on spiro. Alcohol and spiro aren't a great combo, it'll make you feel pretty weird. Alcohol can mess with your magnesium levels which in turns mess with your potassium, potassium is the one that spiro acts on. Spiro (spironolactone) is a potassium sparing diuretic, it acts on your kidneys to make you pee more but keep more potassium than usual. It has an off label use as an anti androgen. If they test your liver enzymes and iron - there's not really a reason to do it just for HRT - then they'd see how alcohol has been affecting your liver. When you've started on E, eventually you will be closer to how cis women are affected by alcohol. Yes it will take you less to be more drunk and it will affect your health more with fewer drinks.
I don't know if this is the case for you, but I've found a lot of people with a - let's say problematic relationship with alcohol tend to rely on it as self-medication for anxiety. Anxiety is also super common with trans people. If that sounds like something you're dealing with, see if you can get on something like an SNRI and/or getting a short term benzo as needed for panic attacks (if you have them). Those kind of psych meds do not play well with alcohol, one drink every once in a while is fine but every day would affect you way differently than you might be used to. You could, again if this is something that affects you, also seek out some therapy and get tools for dealing with anxiety in addition or instead of medication.
Quitting is hard but doable, you can do it! You made it one month before which means you can do it again. Peoples' bodies are generally pretty resilient especially before advanced age (think like over 70 lol). If you start picking up good health habits like limiting or quitting alcohol, eating a more balanced diet with plenty of fibre, and making sure you get at least 30 minutes of activity a day you will be in pretty great health in short order! There is no "too late to start" it will always benefit you ♡
silly but positive, kinda gender euphoria
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I still only play games on my old 360 lol but I updated my avatar awhile ago and it's stupid but it really made me happy
The old one was my awkward teenage egg self
Now I have tits and a MJOLNIR helmet that matches my Reach Spartan and it's sick imho
one of the nice things about working at a small company is sometimes your boss and half the team will just randomly leave 5 minutes before a meeting, and then you don't have to do the meeting
and I have no idea where they went, based on the timing I would assume lunch, but based on the people who went it could be a midday hike
Are there any good video games with cross play between the switch and PC? I'm trying to find stuff for me and my brother to play
ok serious answer it kinda depends on how the person in question sees it?
as far as I can tell from some research on this front, theres defs at least one kind of puppygirls to want a space to turn their brains off and just do simple things - some of them like praise, some are sick of constantly having to think all the time and solve problems, etc. There may or may not be a sexual component to it, depending on the person, as far as I can tell. (I am in this category)
I'm sure there are pups out there who don't want to bark on command or be taken out on walks or be given "treats." I dont know as much about those kinds as I'm not sure where to find them. Maybe there are some on this site :)
I suspect its all highly variable so probdbly the only real thing you can do is ask what this person gets out of it themselves. then the real brainstorming can begin
give a puppygirl a fish and you'll feed her for a day. give a puppygirl a fishing rod and she'll bring it back to you wagging her tail
Boobs are growing again. Also probably more important than size for me is that they're getting a lot rounder and less awkwardly shaped
I'm missing out on formative years by not having an ex by now, all the ex jokes I could be making as a jaded 30 something year old 😔
my new adult romantic fantasy, noun of noun and noun, comes out today
A Shadow of Blood and Steel? A Heart of Fire and Lies? A Song of War and Time?
I'm just crowd sourcing generic fantasy titles, anything else?
i hate microsoft if you didn't know cw: dysphoria
me: searching Microsoft Teams for a message.
Teams: includes "[deadname] (You) - message" in the results, despite my name being changed in the system and legally for 3 months.yes, thank you microsoft for giving us pronoun flairs, that only me and like one enby in the company even use lol, but could you not deadname me? you are valued at 3.16 trillion USD and you can't amend (or can't be fucked amending) my name within a system you have almost complete control of. sometimes i see my deadname email flicker before being replaced with my new one and i can understand why they might have my old email but why are you storing my deadname???? is my legal name just a display name??
i'm soooo fucking glad microsoft successfully abused their market power to eradicate slack and make us use this steaming pile of bland corpo dogshit. i throw up a little everytime i hear that fucking teams ping, i reaaaally want to quit just because of our dependence on this repugnant company
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i know this comes off a bit trivial, i'm privileged to have an office job. but it gives off the same vibe as my birth certificate having "previously known as [deadname]", both constant reminders that i'll never be just me but me who used to be someone else and that shit sucks
As janky as slack can be on occasion, and as much as I’d prefer zero electron apps whatsoever, I’m really glad my team still uses slack. Teams(new)(new)(final)(new) is so much worse. Down with MS.
E: salesforce too, of course. Just that their UX is slightly less openly terrible.
yeah if you couldn't tell, our dept decommissioned slack last year... it wasn't perfect but jfc 100% ms teams is hell
hard agree on salesforce, i think i just hate all corporate software. i dream of a world where workers can choose their own tools
I just finished My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness after it's been sitting in my library for half a year
Aaaaaaah, I love queer people so much ❤️
I love our fucked up weird little lives~
I want to huuuug you ✨
Oh it's this one. I enjoyed it. after I read it I wanted to see what others thought so I went online to look at what people were saying and its just comments and comments full of pity "oh my gosh that's terrible the poor girl" and stuff. I was so confused
I mean, yeah, it was tough, but... She gets there in the end. The ending is very optimistic.
It's definitely not misery porn or anything
I got it a while back after my egg cracked and I was diving into queer manga.
Kind of glad I didn't read it until now because it definitely related to more recent events in my transition rather than the egg crack era.
Like she has this list of things she needs to accomplish before she hires the escort, and I had the same kind of list of things I "needed" to do before I sought out hormones or came out as a girl. Both of us were like, "uh... Actually I can't wait anymore" lol
I rly like this one
