Chaserism isn't just sexual objectification of trans people (usually transfems). Somebody doing that is just a regrettably common fuckboy mysogynist pig, not a chaser. Dating men comes with its caveats for all women forced to navigate a patriarchal society, it's not specific to our experience. What is specific to our experience as trans women and fems in a mysogynist environment is how transphobia and mysogyny intersect, forming what is known as transmysogyny. I recommend Julia Serrano's Whipping Girl to anybody who wants to read further into that subject, but for the sake of this discussion, let's just hold the thought that chasers are one of many ways in which transmysogyny manifests. Also, we will have to talk about girldick a lot, because that's a body part most cis people know nothing about. So this will get very NSFW at some point. But let's start at the core of what makes a chaser a chaser.

Chasers, like the people who fetishize East Asian women or black men, combine their fetishism with views that are inherently marginalizing to the fetishized. Their fetishism ties directly into systems of structural oppression. The fetishization seen from chasers can take different forms, but all of them include a transphobic element, sometimes openly, sometimes in a hidden and roundabout way. This combination makes encounters with chasers more distressing, hurtful and potentially more dangerous than encounters with the average mysogynist. Examples include, but are not limited to:

• being more aggressive and forward when making advances as the chaser falsely sees the transfem as being masculine in her desires and behaviors, assuming that he can get away with things he couldn't get away with when talking to a cis woman.

• being ashamed for his desire, not wanting to be seen in public with the transfem. This is particularly dangerous, as it can lead to violent backlashes when the hornyness wears off and the more openly transphobic attitudes of the chaser come to the surface. That's the kind of guy who may turn violent after sex. This is how we get killed. Seriously, most murders of trans people happen in exactly such a context.

• assuming we're by default sex workers. No shade on anybody who's in that line of work, i know healthcare in many countries is so dire for trans people that many have no other recurse, but come on. You wouldn't ask if i do sex work after talking to me for 10 seconds if i was cis. You just wouldn't.

• fixating on a specific stage of the transition process, or on specific body parts that may be altered during transitioning. Now, i'm not saying that it's transphobic to be into girldick. It is not. What is transphobic is regarding your sexual gratification higher than our need to feel comfortable in our bodies, and that frequently shows when it comes to girldick. I get the appeal, i seriously do. I love girldick, just like i love all other female genitals. The thing is, even tho i'd find what i have between my legs super cute on another woman, it's not what i need my body to be like. Those dangly parts down there shouldn't dangle, they're configured in a way that feels debilitatingly wrong to me and that needs to be fixed, which is in my case only possible by taking the balls and most of the erectile tissie out and rearranging the rest into a clit, vulva and vagina. Not all transfems need to go that far, there's other surgical options, hormones also alter the penis in surprisingly profound ways already and i've found that even the penis of a trans woman that is medically pre-everything isn't the same as a man's penis (more on all of that below). But no matter how we want to go about this, altering our genitals may be a life and death issue for some of us. You can't brush that aside because you want me to cum in your mouth. Especially not when this boils down to an attempt to talk somebody out of a surgery they've saved up for for years, and /or had to jump through all kinds of gatekeeping hoops and get on endless waiting lists. It's often incredibly hard to get bottom surgery, all of us have thought about that step for years when we do it, so telling us we should reconsider when we finally get to get the genitals we need just because you want to be railed by me just doesn't fly. Get yourself a dildo. Buy your gf a strap-on. But never, ever dare to try and take this away from us.

• demanding us to perform in sexual roles we're not comfortable with. I'm not saying there aren't trans women who want to top other people, but chasers have this porn-bred expectation that the primary sexual function of a trans woman is to fuck them in the ass and that's something a lot of us not only do not want to, but physically can't do even if we're unoperated. Like i said above, hormones alter our genitals on an organic level. Girldick doesn't just smell, taste and feel different from the male penis, it also usually functions more like a clit than a penis. This does not only mean it will respond better to vibration than to traditional male wanking behaviors, it also means that erectile "dysfunction" is a common, and in a lot of cases, absolutely desired effect of hormone replacement therapy. That doesn't go for all of us, but never wanting to have an erection again isn't exactly rare among transfems. I can't believe i need to stress this, but we're not men with tits. Yet that's what a lot of chasers want when dating us.

Like i said before, it's ok to want to get topped by trans women. It's ok to be into girldick. But you need to understand that these are issues that are complicated and often extremely painful for a lot of us and that this is more important than some rando's sexual fantasies. You cannot put your hornyness above our dignity and wellbeing.

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I'm t4t and a lot of it's because I'm also ace and have a hard time feeling attraction to anyone without knowing something about them first. With other trans people they've at least shared some of the same experiences which makes it easier to relate.

I think what's most annoying are seeing people who are both treating trans people like a porn category, but then also disregarding any political opinions we express.