Joaquin Phoenix gives the absolute worst performance of his career as Napoleon Buonaparte, choosing to portray one of history’s most famously charismatic leaders, as a wooden cutout. No movie these days would be complete without Reddit/Marvel-tier quipped dialogue, and this screenplay provides it in spades. Many of the events that would naturally adapt to the big screen are skipped in favor of shots of Phoenix crawling under tables like some fucked up dog. No mention is made of Italy, and Spain and Haiti are skipped over as to avoid portraying the subject in any kind of negative light. Irresponsible and reactionary filmmaking shines through in a script that truly feels like it was written by chatgpt. The film concludes with him suddenly dying in a part that reminded me of the poochy “my planet needs me” bit. Do not waste your time. I was expecting a cheesy Hollywood retelling and it didn’t even do that, despite having more than enough source material to do so.

  • Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida [he/him]
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    8 months ago

    A movie just on Napoleon in Egypt would have been more interesting. Its a less explored topic than say the battle of Waterloo.

    • huf [he/him]
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      8 months ago

      or napoleon in italy. poor, badly equipped soldiers, little plucky nobody napoleon betting big AND ACTUALLY PULLING IT OFF.

      and it's not fucking waterloo. who cares. most covered part of the whole thing, because the english were in it.

      • Vncredleader [he/him]
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        7 months ago

        The Italian campaign would be AMAZING. Give us his speech to the Army of Italy dammit

    • YuccaMan [he/him]
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      8 months ago

      Seriously, reading Andrew Roberts' biography of him, I came away thinking Napoleon had genuinely lost his mind when I read his writings from the period. It's been a while, but I recall that he harbored fevered fantasies of going rogue and installing himself as some kind of latter day pharoah or caliph in Egypt and creating some grand new society in his image. A movie about the Egyptian campaign would be entertaining as fuck.

      • Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida [he/him]
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        8 months ago

        Great concept. That is a movie I'd watch. One man's descent into megalomania, maybe foreshadowing his eventual seizing of power and turning his laurel crown into an imperial one.

        • YuccaMan [he/him]
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          7 months ago

          Right? There's so much untapped entertainment value with Napoleon, but all that anyone seems to want to do is Waterloo, Russia, and Austerlitz

        • MaoTheLawn [any, any]
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          7 months ago

          like Aguirre, Wrath of God by Werner Herzog

          the proof of concept is there

      • GarbageShoot [he/him]
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        7 months ago

        But think of an alt history film where he actually does it and it goes to shit

        • YuccaMan [he/him]
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          7 months ago

          We need more counterfactual history movies in this world, and I'd watch the hell out of that one