"China plans to launch KushCoin, the first cryptocurrency tied to the value of cannabis, using Afghanistan as a brand ambassador. Afghanistan is naturally a choice partner for this opportunity of a lifetime due to their rich history of cannabis cultivation."
Wow, good job China.
We're quick to dismiss mixed economies and expansionism as ideologically impure, but Mao Zedong promised an $80 ounce and there's only way of reaching the productive capacity for that. We need the world on board with the $80 ounce.
Source: Your mom last night when she was sucking me good and hard through my jorts.
My unbiased source from Radio Free Asia says that the CCP only sells seeds and stems to their people. They hoard all the righteous bud for party officials.
Falun Gong reported on 28 May that China repackages mouldy mids as "popcorn ounces", selling them at a discount to unsuspecting Christians. Chinese state media categorically denied these claims and dismissed them as US-backed propaganda efforts.
China LITERALLY HARVESTING REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS (of plants)
China giving billions in infrastructure to the Taliban? Wtf, how evil! America giving billions in weapons to the Taliban, though, pretty cool, no way that can backfire
-- Satirical articles / fake news / shitposts are not allowed. --
Legendary bit, comrade :sankara-salute:
https://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/odxq5g/china_prepares_to_move_into_afghanistan_with_62/
China prepares to move into Afghanistan with $62 billion 'Belt and Road' program as American troops leave.
They had the title I wanted, breaking their own rule 2 about editorialising titles, but the title of the article is this stupid clickbait shit and I figured someone would call me out for the general faux pas of editorialising.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2020/10/22/taliban-isis-drones-afghanistan/
Try beginning of the decade
It really is an insufferable tag line. Trump said mean things to them and they got so mellow-dramatic over it.
Seems big for Iran in the mid-long term if this ultimately pans out. Be really ace for them to have overland ties to China instead of having their surroundings blanketed by US military bases & the instability they inevitably conjure.
China has seen the economic success that cannabis legalisation has brought to various states and the limitless potential of cryptocurrencies like dogecoin. It's the belief of the Chinese Communist Party that launching KushCoin now will help achieve socialism by 2050. Otherwise there are no practical ways of overcoming the contradictions in capitalism.
Like the Hindu Kush, which actually doesn't have that many Hindus.
like how the Black Sea doesn't have many Black people
Idk whether Kush comes from the mountains of central Asia, or the Cushitic kingdoms of Africa.
So if it's tied to cannabis prices, does that just make this like, an index fund for the weed commodity? I guess it's crypto in the sense of block chain or something? Idk, sounds wild, but I trust china to experiment in good faith more than anyone else so...
e: I don't know how to read, don't bully me badger :rage-cry:
Speaking to an AP journalist, a representative from the Ministry of Science and Technology affirmed that KushCoin is uniquely tied to the value of cannabis in a way consistent with the country's proclaimed socialist values. "If you think about it, cannabis is worth 650 yuan per ounce. So like what if every time we bought an ounce at a dispensary you could also chip in to KushCoin or purchase a KushCoin t-shirt? We are considering selling pipes that say KushCoin so you can smoke with your friends and they can see the name while they light up. Those would be like 30 yuan each and we make them so it's even cheaper. That adds up over time and you begin to see how much money this thing could make. Afghanistan could get super rich too which would be cool."
Mixed feelings on that then. Tying money to something real and not gold is interesting. Getting Afghanistan rich on cannabis production could be pretty based if done well. Not a fan of producing frivolous commodities to advertise it. But the big news is buying an oz for $100, that'd be fucking sick.
e: I've been informed that I got got by this here badger who is doing a bit. Unfortunate.
Man, now I've got to go read the article. I stand by my reasonable requests for $100/oz green.
The range of products they were showing off at the CCP 100th anniversary celebration was remarkable. If the Taliban doesn't overwhelm the Afghan government in the coming weeks, they have hoodies that say "KushCoin: The GREEN cryptocurrency". One of the flags is a hammer and sickle but they're a joint and the blockchain. I don't want to be a western chauvinist and dismiss their efforts like some are so quick to.
China plans to launch KushCoin, the first cryptocurrency tied to the value of cannabis, using Afghanistan as a brand ambassador
I wish it was real
"I have personally been to Kabul", Chairman Xi said through a translator during a speech commemorating the 100th anniversary of the CCP's founding. "They have this strain called Afghani. It is named after the country and smells really good, so you know this was destined. Imagine a world where Afghanis can sell Afghani, haha, haha, but seriously people might like that and then buy more of it which makes the price of KushCoin go up. Socialism will come faster if we are all richer, you know. You know." Plans for KushCoin have reportedly been in development since early 2021 when China observed Gamestop stock drastically increase in value and realised how rich they could have gotten if they did more online things. When revealed as the "BIG plan for Afghanistan" that is "worth billions", Chairman Xi was quick to point out to critics that he chose that wording because it rhymes and it's a lot of money.
If they refuse to read the article, I'll read it for them. My plan is better than whatever nerd shit some journalist wrote anyway.
