• goodaladie [they/them]
      ·
      3 years ago

      i really get incredulous at that one. the others i can at least imagine weakspots for or at least some way you could feasibly disable them if you were very lucky. how do you even begin to incapacitate an elephant with no technological advantage whatsoever, let alone one thats fighting you?

    • MaoTheLawn [any, any]
      ·
      3 years ago

      A crocodile???? How on earth do you plan on harming a crocodile at all? It's a fucking dinosaur bro.

      Cobras yeah if you can grab it first then you just swing it around and about and against the floor until it's basically just a sausage.

      Kangaroos are deadly as fuck too. Like, between them and chimps, they're both super aggressive and strong but a kangaroo has more range.

      I think it comes down to the fact that a chimp is human like, so all the chokeholds and stuff like that are gonna work on it. I'm an avid chimp fan and I'm shit scared of them, and on the likely occasion that it beats you you're gonna die a horrible death, but I feel like there's a chance you get a chokehold on it from behind that it doesn't have a clue how to defend itself from aside from flailing around aggressively. On the other hand, I have absolutely no idea how I'd go about putting a kangaroo in a rear naked choke.

      Also there's that true story about that guy who choked out a mountain lion. Obvs a mountain lion got nothin on a lion of the plains but still impressive.

      • AlexandairBabeuf [they/them]
        ·
        3 years ago

        people see croc wrestling so dont have a high opinion of their prowess

        mountain lions are much much smaller than the real deal, big dogs are more dangerous than them

      • Norm_Chumpsky [he/him]
        ·
        3 years ago

        You can subdue a croc with a piece of tape over its snout. They’re no way in hell you’re getting a chimp in a chokehold - they’re fast, smart and strong as fuck. They know how to hurt people which is why their go-to move is to bite your face, hands and balls.

        If you look at the story about that lady in Connecticut who got her face and hands eaten by her neighbor’s pet chimp, the chimp’s owner tried to save the friend by repeatedly stabbing the chimp with a large kitchen knife. It didn’t slow him down at all.

        • MaoTheLawn [any, any]
          ·
          3 years ago

          yeah but you're unarmed there's no tape allowed

          what's your plan once you keep its jaws shut using your arms

          crocs just gonna sit there until you starve to death

          ya there's even chimps that got shot and just kept on trucking but I just think chimps gonna panic when air stops going to his brain

          I'm not saying it's ever a favourable fight but I fancy my odds against a chimp more than I do a croc or a kangaroo

        • MaoTheLawn [any, any]
          ·
          3 years ago

          I just think a chimp has never been put in a choke before and might panic, idk.

          I still back myself odds wise over a chimp than a kangaroo

          cos what the fuck am I meant to do to a kangaroo

    • cresspacito [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      bro elephants only have like, two sharp bits, what are they even going to do