• LangdonAlger [any]
    ·
    3 years ago

    the gun, just, like, went off? shit, that sounds super dangerous. i've had a few arguments, and there are guns in the house. i had no idea angry loud words could pull the trigger somehow and shoot me in the chest.

    • AcidSmiley [she/her]
      ·
      3 years ago

      shoot me in the chest.

      You mean "get me involved in a gun related incident, after which there is a firearm discharge, after which i somehow require medical attention, after which i later pass away in a local hospital, with no connection between these events ever being spelled out because who knows if these aren't all totally unrelated things."

    • zxcvbnm [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      Must have been a Sig P320. Surely the trigger wasn't pulled, and if it was, that's nobody's fault, just a coincidence.

  • OldSoulHippie [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    The projectile kinetically struck an individual, we don't have any aforementioned procedural evidence to definitively and positively identify whom applied pressure to the firing mechanism, causing the discharge during the altercation at this time...

  • half_giraffe [comrade/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    :drake-disapproves: "CPD Officer Shot in Chest by Wife, Also an Officer"

    :drake-approves: "CPD Officer Tactically Ascertains Hole in Chest Following Bullet Traveling at High Speed Through the Air in the Same Kitchen Where His Hand Discharge's on His Wife's Face"

    • eylligator2 [she/her,none/use name]
      ·
      3 years ago

      "His hand discharges" assumes a connection between the man, his hand and domestic violence. We need some more obfuscation. Have you tried "[...] where a hand appeared near an individual's face"?

      • half_giraffe [comrade/them]
        ·
        3 years ago

        Definitely an improvement, I am not a local reporter so my passive voice muscles aren't that trained

  • Alex_Jones [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    The gun came to life and shot one of the officers. Or at least that's what the phrasing is telling me.

    • TankieTanuki [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      He and his wife were having a struggle session when a gun resting on a table on the opposite side of the room spontaneously went off. This is a time when suing the gun manufacturer makes sense.

  • Inque [she/her]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Couldn’t happen to a nicer couple. Happy for them.

  • D61 [any]
    ·
    3 years ago

    In my mind I'm seeing a floating gun just floating around, minding its own business and then BAM the sound of a sneeze is heard and the cop falls to the ground. The floating gun is now floating around in a mad panic scream "oh gawd, oh fuck!" over and over again.

  • richietozier4 [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Dumbass pig shoots himself after aiming the wrong end of his gun at his wife, who's eye coloration inspired the blue lives matter flag

    fixed it