Seriously though, why is this so bad?
Aunt May finds the Green Goblin without his mask, nurses him back to health, and falls in love with him.
The goblin reciprocates this love by slamming his glider into her at top speed and then hurling bombs at her. She dies horribly off screen.
You can tell the movie was written by a committee playing madlibs between lines of crushed up adderal XR.
Honestly, good for them.
Yeah, the young Aunt May. The age difference between her and DaFoe is kinda weird.
Jesus Christ, DaFoe should have worn some sunscreen or something. What the fuck
The whole scene sounds improvised and like something out of an adult swim comedy. What the fuck?
We have so many emotes and it is always a delight when I find another one. Like a wizard stumbling upon a new spell.
Obviously the dialogue is bad, but the bigger problem is the boring directing IMO. These three need to be doing something while they talk, not just standing there with Toby looking like he's partially CGI'd.
Right? Why the fuck are they just standing there? Feels like a star wars prequel written by Kevin Smith.
Lucas honestly had more interest during the prequels on set design and worldbuilding than cinematography or writing.
The end result is this really uneven set of movies that feels pretty "lived in" up until the train you're on derails and the aliens based on racial caricatures show up to assess the damage.
This is authentic to the spirit of most Spider-Man comics, in that it's mostly bad
This. Comics aren't supposed to be good, they just need to be something you'll keep reading every week.
You know how sometimes you'll see, like, "fake scripts" made for conversations between characters in various books, shows, movies or whatever? And it's always this horrible, cringey nonsense that no writer would ever dare share with anyone? I finally understand where they come from. This is my first time watching a scene from a marvel movie. Holy goddamn shit that writing style is actually real. What a revelation.
When she said "I like it because it has pockets", that really spoke to me. You don't appreciate pockets until you don't have them anymore.
The script is somehow even worse than a normal marvel movie. Thanks Sony, very cool!
they really need miles morales in there. dude bro spiderman x3 just ain't working. if they were smart they'd cut this whole shit out.
if they intentionally released a bogus scene with the three of them just goofing off or something as some kind of guerilla advertisement, it should still be better than this.
Don't worry, they set that up for the next movie. Electro (played by Jamie Foxx) rips off Garfield's mask and is like "why aren't you black, I thought you were black"
And Garfield is like,"I'm sure there's a universe with a black spiderman".
Then the lizard licks his face.
For a moment I thought you were talking about this Garfield :garf-troll:
I'm dumb
Remember that bit from the sub with spoilers for the avengers?
:joker-troll:
This is the first time three versions of the same character have stood around in a circle and talked about how their ability to shoot thick ropes has been affected by performance anxiety.
Spiderman should have to Jack off to shoot webs and if he doesn't cum in time while web slinging he falls to his death.
What’s amazing is Tobey references when this basically happened in one of his movies.
That honestly hits why this feels weird. It is three distinct, and I would say quite good in their own ways, depictions of spider-man all suddenly given the same voice and it is the worst voice of the MCU stuff
I think you just nailed it. They all talk the same… That’s really uncanny. Half the jokes Tobey makes in this scene would not have happened in his films.
I literally have never watched a Marvel cinematic universe movie. I think I saw that one leaked Wolverine movie that no one really remembers because it had a shitty deadpool in it because my little brother wanted to watch it, I saw the first two spiderman movies but only bits and pieces of the third, and that's it. All of this is fresh to me and I just enjoyed Spiderman talking to himself about cumming.
how com wen spidrmn tlks 2 himself abt cuming evry1 thenks etz charmng bt wen i do et evry1 leevs th bridal showr
I’m going to say it’s because you are a bird covered in its own shit.
Yeah this isn't particularly cringe compared to some other shit in the series
The green goblin and aunt may fall in love. He then runs her over with his glider and blows her up with pumpkin bombs. You hear her die horribly offscreen.
Shortly after, Tobay McCain comforts Tommy Hillfigure by telling him that "with great power comes great responsibility".
Tommy then tries to murder the green goblin.
If I get 5 upvotes on this comment, I will turn off the nsfw tag and make this post a sitewide spoiler for "the most anticipated capeshit of the year (tm)".
I'm going to see this tomorrow and I'm about 1000x more excited now lol
I will be smoking an incredible amount of weed beforehand :stalin-smokin:
Good. Smoke so much indica they have to roll you in there with a wheelbarrow.
Dissociating from existence and joining the spiderverse.
:big-cool:
Sat there stoned faced during this super quippy and adorkable exchange. Bonus points for Tobey Maguire though, at least those spider-man movies were fun because they had an actual film maker behind them, the two other clowns I have no clue or care who they are.
I love Tobey, but not like this...
Andrew Garfield was also pretty good.
Why do you think I'm trans or gay which is the weird part, I don't get that?
they've been writing slash fan fiction about everyone on the site
Yeah I know it just makes me laugh how they jumped to the conclusion that I'm somehow trans/gay. That's the puzzling part I keep coming back to. This is going to sound harsh, but I think they're mentally unwell and have been lashing out for a long time now. Armchair psych though.
Naw they're just a weird asshole. Boring bit too. You'd think they'd take this to a radlib discord server that believes in free speech or some shit.
Agree on the weird part, that's for sure. Like I said yesterday, imagine spending your finite time on this planet on an obscure forum full of people who hate you only to get banned 10 minutes later and people have already moved on. Go smoke a cigarette or something, there's way better uses of your time.
I'd hope they were a kid because then I could give them the benefit of the doubt of not knowing better and not having enough life experience yet. But I can't rule out that it's a 25-year old something NEET from 4chan either.
No the spider bit peter and that's how he became spiderman. He has mental illness sometimes, but it is mostly the spider.
no the three spidermen aren't communists they just have red suits.
:PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS: :PIGPOOPBALLS:
that wasn't a line in the movie i think you must have watched some kind of anime or something
Also venom / Tom Hardy is in the movie at the end and he gets drunk and wants to go skinny dipping. This is not a joke.
Apparently this was implied in a post credit scene in the newest venom movie. My ex was excited about this. She's gotten real tolerant of capeshit in the interceding years I guess.
Oh yeah he teleports back to his movie world after running up a bar tab and gleeking some of the symbiote onto the floor.
Again, I'm serious. That is in the movie.
Andrew Garfield confesses he is in love with the other two spidermen. There is a long pause and it is never addressed again.
Isn't newesr spiderman still in high school? I guess Andrew Garfield was supposed to be as well but he's clearly 40
He's over 18 at this point and I think he graduated in the last movie.
I only saw the first one and haven't seen any Avengers movies. I think Thor Ragnarok was the last Marvel movie I've seen
Guardians of the Galaxy 2 is the only one I would particularly recommend going back for. It's not great, but it's as good as these Marvel movies get.
Oh I saw that with a friend who's dad had died a few months ago. I've got BIIIIG feels about that one.
Oh fuck that could not have been a great movie for your friend timing-wise.
Was and wasn't. Hit her fucking hard but was cathartic and stuff. It's a really special movie for her now.
That’s honestly really cool. Art making a connection with people is good.
She left home and lived on the streets for a while and reconnected when she was in her late 20s and had a kid of her own and then he died a few years later. So, yeah, there's a LOT for her emotionally in that one. It's a pretty fantastic movie anyway. I could give a shit about the rest of Marvel but the Guardians movies are great. First wasn't as good but still good. It's as close to OT Star Wars as they've gotten with all these desperate attempts.
Yeah that was fun. I'll be watching this for fucking sure. It sounds like a total trainwreck
There’s about a one minute scene with no subtitles where two characters have an argument in Tagalog while everyone else watches.
One of the characters then turns to the rest of the group and says “she’s going to bed, but she wants you to clean up all these spiderwebs you shot in the kitchen.”
No, I really wasn’t. The director of this movie is extremely cum-brained.
The next Batman will be Christian Bale seeing an eccentric urologist, who is Michael Keaton. They fall in love and get married. The minister at the wedding is Adam West, who reveals he faked his death to stop the Joker from saying the N word.
michael keaton is back as batman in the new flash movie which i believe is also a multiverse thing so you're not far off
CGI Val Kilmer is the best man at the wedding. George Clooney is the receptionist at the urologists office. Ben Affleck is the dominatrix who broke Christian Bale's dick. Twilight is Ben Affleck's defense attorney.
At least Black Widow had Florence Pugh and David Harbour, who are both aggressively charismatic. Also gave ScarJo something to do finally besides chew on the set pieces in the backgeound of an Avenger's movie.
