New Seinfeld episode I made on the toilet. I have IBS.
Jerry hitting on a girl with a mask on, takes her home to hook up and when she takes off the mask he realizes shes actually 22 and not 14, finds a funny way to get rid of her.
Is the joke that getting rid of her would be out of character for Jerry Seinfeld IRL?
Newman is an asymptomatic super-spreader and keeps trying to intentionally "catch" Jerry in the lobby of his apartment to infect him.
Jerry winds up quarantining only because he doesn't want to see Newman.
George starts going to support groups for medical conditions he doesn't have, to hit on emotionally vulnerable women.
Elaine knows her new boyfriend is flighty and emotionally abusive, but stays with him because he's really good in bed.
Jerry accidentally becomes the leader of a cult and keeps resolving to break it off, but chickens out because they're nice to him and laugh at his jokes.
Kramer hatches a scheme to steal fat from a liposuction clinic and make soap.
In a surprise twist, George, Jerry, Kramer, and Elaine's boyfriend all turn out to be the same person, because this is the plot to Fight Club.
"They never taught me how to land the plane, Jerry!"
...
Is there actually a 9/11 fan edit episode out there?
Because I was lazy and copied it from Google, fixed now.
:fidel-salute-big:
TrashFuture did a table read, but it’s better in your head because they really captured the voices.
OTAKU SEINFELD: George prepares to travel to China to confront the online seller of an anime boxed set, because it didn't include the collectible keychain.
CAVE SEINFELD: Jerry becomes resentful of an Australopithecus who has moved in with his neighbours, because he is enjoying the benefits of fire and clothing even though "his species hasn't earned it."
KARDASHEV 3 SEINFELD: George hesitate to speak with a woman he is dating because her time at super-luminal velocity has revealed to her the results of the current baseball season.
CYBERTRON SEINFELD: Kramerbot and Neumanicus try to start a Combiner team.
George does 9/11 because his parents won't move to Del Boca Vista
https://www.avclub.com/read-this-a-darkly-comedic-seinfeld-spec-script-set-da-1798250195
Leftist Seinfeld:
Jerry joins an org in attempts to impress a woman he met graffitiing the subway. George sets up a mutual aid fund for himself. Due to a misunderstanding with her affinity group, Elaine blows up a sewer pipeline instead of a gas pipeline. Kramer sets up a newspaper printing press in his apartment. Newman's involvement results in an organization schism.
G-m-r Seinfeld:
Jerry bricks his PC by torrenting a Trojan disguising itself as a PS3 rom
George buys hundreds of dollars worth of proxy servers to circumvent his bans from DOTA he got for using aimbot
Elaine spends money to pre-order a game in early access and tries by any means possible to get a refund when it gets cancelled
Kramer gets interested in whatever horror game is viral right now but gets trapped dealing with fandom drama
Jerry gets an invite to a smash bros tournament in the apartment building, little does he know its organized by... NEWMAN
George gets a steal of a deal on a graphics card upgrade (he won't stop saying "steal of a deal"), but the gang keeps talking about how it "doesn't sound right" and "cards are more expensive than that." The card comes in and it's burnt out from crypto mining. George plots revenge.
Elaine is dating a niche-famous eSports pro, but she can't figure out what game he plays. She hopes it's CS:GO (dreamy). Turns out, it's League (yikes).
Kramer has been mining crypto in the basement of the apartment building. He recently doubled his throughput with a bunch of new cards, but now the landlord has noticed the power draw and he's gotta unload. When George finally enacts his revenge plan, he catches Kramer at the heart of the scam.
to circumvent his bans from DOTA he got for using aimbot
have you never played DOTA to know that an aimbot is useless, or is the ridiculousness of using an aimbot in dota part of the joke?
(Was the former because I thought of the last game I had seen mentioned and forgot it’s gameplay but the latter is much funnier):
G: I need it, Jerry! It makes my mouse more accurate!
Laugh track
J: That’s not what it does, and it doesn’t even work with DOTA, George! All it does is exist as a scapegoat whenever you screw up!
G: It gets in the way sometimes, I know! That’s why you gotta ask your team for help-
J: That’s why you keep getting banned for cheating! Not only can’t you hide it, you can’t even do it right!
